Zaboomafoo Is A Pirate
by Tactition101
Summary: When I 'died' in a car crash I never expected I'd have the chance to end up in the One Piece world. There's just one problem, all of my memories of the story line are now gone, with only the words Straw Hat Pirates to give me a clue of what I'm supposed to do. Still, at least I got an incredibly useful Devil Fruit out of the deal. Zoan Version
1. Chapter 1

Zaboomafoo Is A Pirate

Summary: When I 'died' in a car crash I never expected I'd have the chance to end up in the One Piece world. There's just one problem, all of my memories of the story line are now gone, with only the words Straw Hat Pirates to give me a clue of what I'm supposed to do. Still, at least I got an incredibly useful Devil Fruit out of the deal.

1\. Going Wild

Story Start: Our Universe

The area around me was a mess. A blown-out tire from the front of a semi had caused it to careen out of control, taking out five different cars within the first five seconds of the accident and it had only gotten worse from there. I was on the tail end of the first twenty seconds and thanks to my pretty good reflexes had somehow managed to put my little Ford Ranger into a tail spin so that the back end had gotten crumpled and not me. Once my head had stopped ringing, I quickly got out of the cab from the passenger side and scrabbled to the side of the road, glad that I tended to stay in the fast lane whenever I went on freeways and highways simply on principle.

Screeching tires drew my attention as yet another car couldn't stop in time and I saw the mini-van slam into one of the already crumpled wrecks. Seeing the flames that started in both vehicles, I cursed before I rushed back to my truck's still open cab and flipped the back of the passenger seat forward to expose the small fire extinguisher and wonder-bar (mini crowbar) behind the seat. Grabbing both, I quickly rushed over and pulled the pin on the extinguisher, dousing the flames in its foam. Imminent explosions diverted, I helped the passengers get out of the cars only to discover that the driver of the car the mini-van had hit had his leg pinned under twisted metal. Thanking my foresight to grab the wonder-bar, I began prying the metal away from his leg, adrenalin aiding my already not so unimpressive strength and after about thirty seconds, the driver was just able to get his leg out. I had just enough time to wince at the mangled look of his ankle before I threw his left arm over my shoulder and began making my way back to the side of the road.

We were just beginning to pass the hood of my truck when yet again I heard tires screeching and I saw another car squealing as it came towards us too fast to stop. Tossing the driver the last few feet to the side of the road, I made to jump as well only to get hit by the car in the area of the driver side headlight, the force of the impact pinning me into the hood of my truck and causing my head to slam into the side of my truck directly above the wheel well and darkness filled my vision.

Scene Change: A Higher Plane

Just as fast as blackness took over my vision, whiteness replaced it and I blinked in surprise as I looked around. I was currently floating in a sea of white, wisps of steam like streamers undulating around me giving the appearance that I was underwater. There was a sudden sound of flapping wings behind me and I somehow spun around and saw a massive serpent with dozens of pairs of wings rapidly shooting through the whiteness towards me. My eyes widened and just as my arms instinctively went up to futilely ward the massive creature off it transformed into a black cloaked figure while at the same time coming to a dead stop five feet in front of me causing me to blink in stunned surprise.

The figure cackled and said in a man's voice "Oh man, I apologize for that but you should have seen the look on your face!"

I blinked at him before I scowled as I said "Let me guess, you're a B.R.O.B."

The figure tilted its hooded head (Of which all details were hidden in blackness) and said "Yes and no. I am a Random Omnipotent Being, but I'm currently more Bored than feeling like being a Bastard."

"Forgive me if I don't find that much of a comfort." I said crossing my arms. Hey, I was either currently in a coma or already dead, what did I care about watching what I said to this guy?

"You're not actually dead you know." The figure said, obviously having read my mind. At my raised eyebrow, he continued "Like I said, I've been feeling bored and so I was watching that not so little fender bender you were in. I saw what you did and I thought to myself 'Buddy, that guy looks like he could be somewhat entertaining in the action genre.' So I decided to bring you here and give you an offer that I seriously doubt you'll refuse."

"And that offer would be?" I asked, a little bit of caution now entering my tone of voice as I remembered the deals other B.R.O.B.s have made before.

"On top of holding off you're semi untimely demise for a while yet, I'll drop you off in another world where you can have a grand old time playing the part of an action hero. I'm thinking a One Piece world so I'm also willing to give you a Devil Fruit right out the gate."

"Sounds interesting, but what's the catch?" I asked warily.

Somehow, a disturbingly demented grin was now visible in the darkness of the figure's hood as he said "I'll be taking all of your memories of the story line as payment. You'll still have basic world knowledge, but Character Background Info and Future Knowledge will be completely erased."

I paled at the price given. The One Piece world was absolutely insane, and every single story I've ever read where some poor shmuck gets kicked into it only had said poor bastard (or bitch) surviving due to future knowledge. Well, there was that one poor gender bent sod in SI Seeking Straw Hat but even xe had their knowledge of the story to give them a goal to work towards. No memory of the story could lead me getting into some very deep diving pools of cow excrement if I said the wrong thing to the wrong people.

Taking a much-needed swallow, I said "I don't suppose you would be willing to allow me to modify the deal a little would you?"

The grin remained in place as the figure said "I'm open to a little bit of compromise. Like I said, the first B is currently Bored, not Bastard."

"Alright, three things: First, I'd like to be dropped into the East Blue on an island where Luffy and the others WILL find me. Second, I'd like to remember the name Straw Hat Pirates so that way I know who to go with. And Third and most importantly, if you're dropping me off on an uninhabited island, then _please_ in the name of all that is both holy and not give me a proper knife and a pallet full of duck tape!"

I got the sense the figure suddenly blinked before it threw its head back and _HOWLED_ with laughter, the surrounding mists seeming to shake like an earthquake was going on from the action. After a solid minute, the figure got itself under control and said "Ahh, I needed that." Grin returning, he said "I take it you're a Mythbuster fan."

"Got all twenty of the current seasons on my phone, along with the Search season." I said, grinning a little despite myself.

The figure chuckled again and said "Tell you what kid, not only well I grant your requests, but due to giving me a much needed laugh I'll even make it so that your phone has infinite power and Wi-Fi so that you can keep up to date with your Mythbusting. You'll of course have to pay for it still but I'm sure you'll be rolling in dough soon enough."

"Thanks." I said stunned at the generosity of the figure before me. Now I just had to make sure no Transponder Snails decided to make the phone a snack and I wouldn't have to worry about boredom while I waited for the Straw Hats when I wasn't practicing with my new Devil Fruit.

Seeming to have read my mind again, the figure said "Oh yes, I should probably tell you which fruit you'll be getting shouldn't I?" Three fruits with swirly patterns on them appeared in between us, a peach, an apple, and a clementine orange. Giving a grandiose gesture, the figure said "Think of this as choosing your Pokemon Starter, the Fruit you choose will be with you at the start of your new journey and stick with you until the very end. We have here one of each Devil Fruit type: the Lemur Zoan, the Air Logia, and the Cloth Paramecia. Choose wisely young Trainer."

I ignored my first impulse of grabbing the Logia. Intangibility would be nice but that would only last until we reached the New World where at least half of the competition could hit me thanks to Haki. And while the thought of becoming a super powered Wind God of Death version of Naruto was appealing, if I went full Air, who knows how hard it would be for me to return back to a human form. So while the Logia had me drooling, it was Out.

The Paramecia Cloth fruit was tempting at first as well. I had read about plenty examples of cloth users being excellent examples of the badass class. Gaijin Goomba had even done a Which Ninja episode on one of them: Shota Aizawa from My Hero Academia. Add a bit of Haki into the mix and the possibilities were almost limitless. _However_, I didn't _know _Haki at this point and _normal_ cloth was easily torn. AND this was a world where swords were still a primary weapon of the Mook class, never mind the really strong enemies who used them as well, meaning my weapons could be useless at the start. So, while it could have been useful as hell, the Paramecia was Out.

That left the Zoan Lemur fruit. Unbelievably durable, and rapid recovery, it would be a good choice for someone who wasn't used to combat. And a lemur was one of the best jumpers of the animal kingdom making it good for hit and runs, and that tail would probably be useful too. And of course we couldn't disregard the enhanced senses. Further thought also pointed out that if I needed to get somewhere fast with the rest of the crew then I could easily go full Lemur and ride on the back of one of the Monster Trio if need be, or Ussopp if we're running _away_ from danger. That last part had me snickering even as I thought 'Edge, Lemur.'

Shaking myself out of my Deadliest Warrior mindset, I looked up from the fruits and said "I choose the Lemur Zoan."

That demented grin was back as the figure said "Excellent choice." The peach and clementine orange both faded away leaving the apple. Said fruit floated into my right jacket pocket and he continued "Right then, time for you to head out mate, do try not to die in your first fight, it'd be rather anticlimactic going to all this trouble just for you to kick the bucket on the first level."

"No promises." I half muttered earning an amused "Ha!" before my world suddenly turned completely black like someone had turned off a massive light. The last thing I heard before I faded into oblivion was "Good luck mate, you're going to need it."

END

Author's Notes: Poll and Update Schedule on Profile

So here's the second version of my, let's say Amnesiac Journey Through One Piece. At the time of posting this, I have the first four chapters for Zaboomafoo and High Winds written. I believe that posting a chapter a day is the proper way to go, not only due to the second chapter of these stories being rather long but that it also gives me a chance to get Chapter Five of these two written. And on that front, let me just warn you that these stories are very similar at the beginning, though they well be branching out once Chapter Six comes.

One last thing, the Cover art for this story was done as a commission by the DeviantArt artist Bramhistory, go check out their profile on DA, they do really good work.


	2. Chapter 2

2\. Renting Gilligan's Island

Quick AN: Zaboomafoo and High Winds are versions of Tailor where a different fruit was chosen. This means that while most abilities in the stories are unique to each fruit and thus different events are played out differently, the events on the island remain relatively the same. Because of this, some copy and pasting has been done this chapter.

Story Start: East Blue

As I was getting depressingly used to, as soon as the darkness came it left, leaving me staggering a little from the startling shift of scenery. That staggering led to me losing my balance completely and I fell onto the ground with an 'Oomph!' of expelled air. It took me a moment to get my senses back in order but when they did, the first thing I noticed was that I was currently sitting haphazardly on sand. Getting back onto my feet, I looked around and saw nothing but ocean in front of me, a stretch of beach that seemed to bend inwards about a mile out to the left, stereotypical island forest behind me and a beach that ended at the bottom of a set of two-hundred-foot-high cliffs on the right. Also to my right about ten feet away in stark contrast with the natural scene was a five foot tall pallet of duck tape wrapped in Seram wrap, the same kind of knife Special Agent Gibbs from NCIS uses sitting on top keeping a sealed letter envelope from flying away in the strong breeze. Seeing the not _quite_ expected sight, I let out a sigh of relief.

The next sense I took closer notice of was my hearing. The pounding of waves hitting the shore was obvious, as was the howling wind that swept past, occasionally the stronger gusts picking up minute bits of sand in mini tornados. From behind were the sounds of local birds calling and if I strained my hearing then I could just barely pick up the movement of land bound animals moving through the undergrowth.

Scent was next, and while I would be the first to acknowledge that my sense of smell was usually rather terrible, I'd have had to have had no nose whatsoever to not smell the scent of the ocean in front of me or sheer scent of _wild_ in the forests behind me. There wasn't a single _hint_ of any of the industrialization that I had learned to ignore over the decades of living in human habituated locations. Honestly, it was a little startling to not even catch a trace of car exhaust, human scent coverers, or even bug spray or sunscreen.

Taking a minute to absorb all that, I then walked over to the pallet of tape and picked up the knife and letter. The envelope had no writing on it and I frowned at that fact before flicking open the knife and opened the top. Pulling it out I read:

Welcome to East Blue Mate: As promised, here's your knife and pallet of tape, I'm sure you'll put both to good use. Now, I know I told you that you'd probably do great as an action figure but I'm feeling a bit like watching some Man Vs Wild. (I felt the beginnings of unease fill me at those words.) You are also going to need time to properly learn how to use your Devil Fruit on a location that _doesn't_ have salt water less than twenty feet away from you on all sides. Therefore, I've inserted you at a point where it will be six months before the Straw Hats run into you. (I swear every drop of blood shot from my head down to my toes at that.) Before you panic though, know that you do have an out if it gets too much for you. Simply carve Time Skip into a tree with that knife and I will 'fast forward' you to the day before the Straw Hat Pirates show up. However, I'm not a needlessly cruel being so on top of the chance to train I'm going to give you an incentive to go the whole half year: Because you chose the Zoan rather than the Paramecia or Logia, you're going to need a medium range weapon sooner or later. Because of this simple fact, if you manage to go three months then I'll give you a personalized weapon that won't require any fancy shmancy training before you can be any good with it, though it won't be a guaranteed one shot weapon either. (Wouldn't be fun to make you OP after all ) (I blinked at that and spared a moment to wonder what I could possibly use without 'training' to be any good at before I shrugged and kept reading.) Manage to go the full six months and I'll give you back your Switch with the same modifications as your iPhone, AND as a little added motivation to go all the way, all of the games you had on your 3DS XL. (That had my eyes almost literally lighting up in flames of determination. Having my Switch could be the one thing keeping me from dying of boredom while on a ship out at sea in between islands.) One more thing, as a final gift/chance for you NOT to die an ignoble death, I've hidden a bullet proof vest on this island that you will have to find. I will say that it is neither buried or in water but beyond that you're on your own, happy hunting, and try not to make the upcoming weeks too boring, won't yah?

There was no signature at the bottom, not that I expected one. I folded it up and put it back into the envelope. Putting it back on top of the pallet and absentmindedly putting the knife on top of it in order to keep it from blowing away, my eyes flicked from side to side as my mind drove down a metaphorical highway at about a hundred miles per hour. The unknown weapon and Switch meant that I was going to do my damn hardest to make it through the six months, no question about that at all. The problem was how to properly use my large but still finite supply of duck tape to make it work.

Thanks to the Mythbusters duck tape island special, I had a pretty rough draft of what to do. I could skip making the SOS sign since I actually KNEW someone would find me even if it would be half a year until then. Of course, given that this was a world where the primary method of travel was by sea I couldn't discount others possibly showing up between then and now. Hm, would have to be sure to look for good places to hide in that case, wouldn't do for some well meaning Samaritan Marine to drag me from the island and thus make me miss my meeting with the Straw Hats. I shook my head and shelved that thought for later and instead got back to more immediately important things. I needed food and water, the latter more than the former. And while I would have to wait to explore before I knew what I had to work with food wise, (Thank God I was a boy scout until I turned sixteen!) I could make a start on the water portion now. Besides, I needed to get the duck tape out of the sun soon or it could all get ruined.

It was at that point that I finally realized I still had on my capable of keeping me warm in below freezing temperatures Carhartt jacket and it was rather WARM outside. Quickly shedding it, I moved the devil fruit from the outside pocket to the inside pocket (I was NOT going to eat that thing until I had AT LEAST a quart of water to drown out the taste, YUK!) and put it on top of the stack of tape before I began carefully unwrapping the tape. Once the wrapping was off (and not a single tear to boot!) I brought the long strand of clear plastic and a couple rolls of tape over to the nearby forest where I could use some of the trees as a quick workstation. A quick estimate of length done by walking along the strand and then a few quick calculations done on the Calculator app of my phone had me quickly making a duck tape net that would get the most out of the Seram Wrap.

Top of my future Solar Still done, I made a nice big Gallon sized bucket out of duck tape, complete with carrying handles, and then went back towards the water. I made sure I knew where the waves stopped and then went back another twelve feet before I started digging. Once I reached a depth where there was water in the bottom I put my collection bucket in the middle before putting the wrap cover on top, being sure to have it dip rather than be taut, something helped by the small bit of sand I put in the middle, and used a couple of collected rocks and broken sticks to keep it in place, through tabs of tape I had thoughtfully added as an afterthought rather than the valuable plastic.

Long term water acquisition taken care of, (two hours of operation wouldn't even give me a full cup, but the solar still required no further input from me to work making it good for long term use) I began moving all of the tape AND the wooden pallet underneath to underneath the nearby trees. Unfortunately, despite my thoughts that my dubious benefactor may have been childish enough to hide the Bullet Proof Vest under the pallet that I would have probably not found until about five months in if I hadn't remembered all of the times I found ruined tape in the garage, the Vest was not in fact that easy to find. I didn't dwell on that long though, instead moving onto rope, wrapping the beginning of a roll of tape around the thinnest tree I could find before I began slowly but steadily twisting it as I unrolled the rest of the twenty five feet roll. I did a second roll then stuck the still attached rolls into a stick before twisting the strands into a semi proper strand of rope. A little more tape wrapped around both ends and I had a tool that I could use both for exploration and pulling anything I needed.

With rope made, I used three more rolls of tape to make even more tightly wrapped strands of 'twine' that I would use to seed the island with snares as I went searching for fresh water. At least one of them should be able to net me some small critter to eat later. After that, I made three six litter canteens out of tape, watching the part of the Duck Tape Island episode where Adam did the same on my phone to double check that I did it properly.

With those tools made, I switched gears and made a quick shelter out of a large sheet of duck tape that I hung from the middle and secured the corners with strips of tape to tree trunks to protect me both from wind and rain and put a hammock directly underneath to keep me off the ground and hopefully the majority if not entirety of this island's bug population. I had even made a sleeve in the tent roof to keep the R.O.B.'s letter in. As a final touch, I made a tarp to put on the ground underneath so that way I could properly sit and put on my shoes. I made sure my camp had just enough trees between it and the beach that it wouldn't be easily visible from the sea since again, I didn't want to be spotted by Marine patrols, or Pirates for that matter.

Roughly five hours after my arrival onto the island and after all of the immediate preparations for my long stay that I could think of were made, I put my jacket back on, left unzipped of course, stuck my knife in its right pocket, gathered my three water canteens, my snare rope and 'exploration' rope, then grabbed ten more rolls of tape which I made a sling to hang off of and began walking along the forest line towards the cliffs I had seen before, leaving quarter width rings of tape around trees every thousand feet or so as trail markers.

It would be four hours past sunset before I came back to my little camp, the flashlight on my phone guiding me, three canteens filled with fresh water, and a two foot by six inch basket full of nuts and berries I had used my former Boy Scout experience to tentatively identify as safe to eat slung over my shoulder by a long strap that let it hang down like a computer bag would. Unfortunately, none of my snares had caught anything when I checked on them on the way back but that was alright since I was too tired to make a fire and wait for any meat to cook right now. Securing the food in a way that I was pretty sure would keep out the animals, I checked to make sure my Solar Still hadn't been torn at all and transferred the meager amount it had collected into another water container, this one with no less than five layers of tape making a five gallon drum which was secured to the thickest tree I could find. I also poured two of the canteens into it leaving the other one full for tomorrow's exploring expedition.

Long term water containment secured, and now feeling thoroughly exhausted from the long day, I made one last check of the area before I turned off my light, took off my shoes, and allowed myself to slump into my hammock bed with a tired groan of relief and used my jacket as a blanket. Making a note to myself to make some actual bedsheets out of tape tomorrow, I drifted off with fanciful thoughts of making an ultra-light out of duck tape and bamboo and using it to survey the island from the air. (It was a nice thought, even if I knew it wouldn't work.)

The next morning, I woke up and looked around in confusion for a moment before I remembered my current circumstances. I gave a jaw cracking yawn and carefully got out of my hammock before I did a quick bit of stretching that had my joints pleasurably popping. A little bit of water poured from the still full canteen to the face finished waking me up and I quickly checked to make sure no animal had made off with my food stash while I slept. The little claw marks at the top of the tape lid showed that something HAD tried but I smirked when it became obvious that four layers of tape had been enough to keep whatever it was out. Peeling off the sealing strip between lid and basket, I grabbed a few berries from their side of the basket (There was even a dividing wall of tape to keep them separate) and munched on them before I chose a couple of nuts to finish my breakfast. Resealing the basket, I took a few swallows of water before I turned back towards my bed and frowned.

On that bed and still in my jacket pocket was a fruit that could potentially make my stay here a hell of a lot easier. Unfortunately, it also meant that I would never be able to swim again, something which I rather liked being able to do. But then again, I couldn't exactly not eat the Fruit since as the marks on my nut and berry basket showed there were wild animals around that could take a shot at it. The thought of some critter getting a transforming ability that they'd probably never even realize they had left a rather sour taste in my mouth. The only reason why whatever animal had been here hadn't gone for it was because it had been right next to me as I slept. Which meant that what I had to do was clear.

Giving a deep sigh, I said "OH, _man_, this is going to SUUUUCK!" I gave an anticipatory full body shiver at the horror I was about to experience before I stripped naked. There was no one around to see and it was possible that I might automatically transform as soon as I ate the Fruit. I'd rather be naked rather than struggling to get out of my only set of clothes with clawed hands and feet if they weren't part of my transformation the first time. I then grabbed a handful of berries and put them by the water canteen before I took out the cursed Apple and morosely studied the spirals as I said "At least I only have to take a single bite for this to work."

Giving another shudder, I let out a small whimper before I closed my eyes and took as big a bite as I dared. My eyes immediately shot open at the taste that was indescribable beyond simply _**NASTY!**_ I struggled to chew twice before I forced it down with a quick gulp of water before I grabbed the berries and rubbed them against my tongue for a solid minute trying to get the taste out before I desperately grabbed the canteen and quickly took a deep pull that I gargled for a solid minute. Spitting it out as far from me as I could, I took ten deep pulls from the canteen before I finally stopped drinking and panted for air.

Panting, I said "Oh sweet Primus and Unicron, that was absolutely RANK!" Giving another full body shudder at the remembered taste, I looked at my smeared hand and busied myself with washing it off in order to take my mind off of the ordeal I had just endured. Once that was done, I sat back down on the tarp and pulling my phone out of my jean pockets I set the camera to forward view and propped it up on a roll of tape before I hit record and sat down in its view. (I was mildly curious to see what this transformation would look like) Phone recording for future reference, and feeling just a little bit like a Mythbuster, I said "Alright, Second 'What the hell am I doing?' moment. Heh, I really should have said that before eating that blasted thing. Focus Matt, first try at a full transformation, starting…now."

(Time Skip)

A month later I was sitting on top of the cliffs near base camp trying to meditate. My first few weeks on the island had been getting a grasp on my new shape shifting ability. It was surprisingly easy to shift to and from my ring-tailed lemur form. Feeling much like a Harry Potter verse Marauder after becoming an Animagus on that first day, I named my lemur form Zaboomafoo after the tv character that was Chris and Martin Kratt's animal companion in an animal show that went by the same name.

On a side note I was quite surprised to learn that despite what I had thought, Lemurs don't actually HAVE claws on their fingertips, and in fact only had a single claw on their second toes on the back feet which in turn was only for grooming purposes. Anyways, like I said, full body transformations were easy. I could even control how fast I shifted. It was the partial transformations that gave me any real sort of trouble.

It took a good deal of focus at first to only go into the half and half form, and even more to attempt to only change one part of me and nothing else. It took me _three_ days before I managed to only transform only my hands without getting fur on my arms as well. It took FIVE in order to be able to grow a tail and not change anything else. Still, I _could_ form the tail quickly now, though unfortunately Lemur's don't have prehensile tails like the more 'genetically advanced' monkey species. Still, being able to form a tail at my back that I could use Armament Haki on in a pinch was sure to come in handy down the road, which was actually why I was currently trying to meditate. I was trying to learn how to use Haki.

More specifically, I was trying to train Observation Haki. Having Armament Haki imbuing my limbs would be Grade A badass but if someone managed to hit me either behind or with a lucky shot, GAME OVER, especially since I hadn't found that bullet proof vest yet. So, Observation first, then Armament. So far though, I had Zip, Nadda, Diddly Divided By Squat, a Hole Riddled Bucket. I blamed the fact that I couldn't stop _twitching_ every once in a while breaking my concentration. As a particularly bad full body twitch went through me I opened my eyes with a deep sigh.

Only for them to widen as I saw a two mast ship with black dots near the top coming towards the island, roughly five miles out. Briefly thanking my lucky stars that not only was I NOT in the habit of making a fire unless absolutely needed, but that my base camp was far enough past the tree line to not be immediately found, I quickly turned into Zaboomafoo and darted over to a duck tape repelling line I had attached to a convenient boulder on the edge of the cliff and quickly wrapped it around my tail. The fur there allowed me to rapidly descend without worrying about friction burns as I descended before I darted over to my solar still and rolled a sand encrusted duck tape tarp over it. With the only visible sign of my presence covered, I darted to the tree line and quickly clambered up, _hoping_ that both no one had seen my actions through a spy glass as the ship got closer, and that these were _friendly_ pirates rather than stereotypical pirates. What I did next heavily relied on those two things after all.

This was because while black pirate flags may mean they were coming peacefully, it was actually red that meant no quarter while white meant surrender, something that almost 'everyone' seemed to have gotten mixed up, but that could have been a trick to make anyone who saw the flag lower their guard. Speaking of the flag, when it got close enough I saw that the Jolly Roger had two saxophones on either side of the cross bones of all things. And not little alto saxes either, as a former player of said alto instrument I recognized those things as the giant great granddaddy of the sax family, Contrabass, AKA the Saxophone usually taller than its player at six feet four inches.

Blinking several times at the unusual Jolly Roger decoration, I turned back into a human and took out my phone from my jeans pocket and zoomed its camera so that way I could get an early look at the crew. I may have been new to this world but even I knew that they wouldn't have such a monster of an instrument as part of their Jolly Roger without a damn good reason.

And they definitely had said reason, there were several different instrument cases strung across the deck of the ship, some right by the people on said deck, most of them underneath the rope ladders leading up to the sails' rigging, a quick bit of counting showed that the number of instruments matched the number of people up in the rope works. It seemed that the modern day equivalent of the Rumbar Pirates had shown up. (And why would I specifically know what a Pirate crew that sailed over fifty years ago was famous for? Clearly, I had learned about them somehow but that was before even ROGER's time so it couldn't have anything to do with the story line could it?)

Still, just because they were obviously music lovers did NOT mean that they weren't also a bunch of bloodthirsty cutthroat marauding psychopaths. So as the ship pulled in closer I did my best to try to determine if they'd try to kill me at first sight only for my jaw to drop as a man in a tricorn hat who was easily eleven feet tall came out of what I suspected was the captain's cabin and made his way over to the helm. It was one thing to intellectually know that the height charts of this place were out of whack compared to Earth's but seeing it the first time was still a shock. And on another note, I now knew why there was such a large saxophone on their Jolly Roger, the guy was so tall that the Contrabass seemingly clamped to his back looked more like a Baritone sax.

Apprehension filled what little remaining space I had had in my chest when I saw him and how he kept that instrument on his back like some swordsmen wore their swords and no _obvious_ weapons on him. If that guy could actually use that thing as a weapon then I was in _trouble_. Giving a nervous swallow as the ship's anchor was dropped and long boats were dropped for landing parties, I shifted back into Zaboomafoo, wanting to be a smaller target in case bullets started flying.

The boarding parties quickly reached shore about five hundred feet from my position and pulled their landing craft far enough out of the water that they wouldn't be washed back into the ocean but not so far that they weren't easily pushed back in either. It made me think that they were here for supply runs and would likely go back to the ship and back to land multiple times. I didn't have much time for guessing their future actions though because less than a minute after everyone was out, one of the crew members who had traveled along the beach called out "Captain! Someone's been here recently!"

Ice filled my veins as the Captain called back "How can you tell?"

"There are tracks here that are too fresh, couldn't be more than a day old!" The sailor called gesturing at said tracks before cocking his head and said "Seems like some kind of animal was just here as well.

"Scrap!" I cursed under my breath as the rest of the crew including the captain came to see what the sailor was talking about. The tracks the pirate was talking about lead straight from the solar still to my camp, the human ones at least. Those animal tracks though lead straight to the tree I was hiding in. Stupid! Why didn't I use my tail to wipe out the tracks as I ran?! Worse, the tape tarp was quickly found and rolled back revealing the solar still underneath.

As the pirates gathered around the still, the captain said "No doubt about it, someone's living here." Glancing around, he said "Be on your toes lads, we don't know if this person is friendly or not."

"Aye Captain." His crew answered, pulling out weapons though I was somewhat relieved that the ones with pistols and rifles didn't cock their hammers just yet. Still, as some of the crew began following the human tracks towards my camp, I desperately wished that these guys had come when I had whatever medium ranged weapon my benefactor planned to give me. Still, if I couldn't use firepower, then I could at least use trickery to even the odds.

As the small group of three pirates came to the tree line, I gave a small call and made my way down the tree. One of the pirates had aimed his pistol my way at my call but he pointed it away from me with a laugh as he said "I think we just found our mystery animal."

"Seems like it." Another said while the last one sheathed his sword before squatting as he said "Hey there little fella."

When the squatter pulled out a piece of candied orange, I cocked my head in the manner of curious animals worldwide before I walked over at an unhurried pace, my long nose twitching as I smelled them. I didn't smell anything that told my instincts that these three were actually dangerous to me but I was still ready to go half and half and sock 'em one if they made any statement about me possibly being good eating. As I warily accepted the orange piece and nibbled at it, the squatting pirate smirked and said "There you go, see what you think about that."

The pistol wielding pirate shook his head and said "I can't believe you gave that critter one of your orange slices. You don't even let one of _us_ eat those things."

"That's because you guys always want more than one." The generous pirate said sternly and despite myself, I let out a chittering laugh.

"Seems this little guy's intelligent." The still standing sword user mused with a raised eyebrow.

"Primates usually are." The pistol user said with a shrug.

Finishing the slice, I cocked my head at the still squatting pirate before I chattered a little then sprung up to sit on his shoulder. I earned a surprised "Whoa!" for my actions but the pirate chuckled as he stood up and said "Friendly little guy ain't he?"

"Yeah, just be careful he don't bite you, those teeth on him look like they'd hurt." The pistol user said with a smirk.

"Aw, he's not going to do that." My mount said with a grin before he began leading the way into the trees again.

When we reached the camp a minute later, the non lemur mount sword user whistled and said "Boy, whoever's living here has it pretty nice."

"I'll say, look at all of that tape he's got!" The pistol user said gesturing at my pallet of tape that was still half full.

"Think he'll be willing to trade for some of that?" My current ride asked.

I chuckled from my position and said "Depends on what you're offering."

My mount jerked in surprise and the other sword user let out a surprised "What the?" The pistol user though cursed as he brought his pistol up and said "Damn it, Devil Fruit user!"

"Whoa, whoa! Don't point that at me!" My ride said in alarm even as I leapt off of him. Shifting forms in mid-air, I quickly put the guy in an arm lock with his pistol facing away from the other two as I said "Now, now, let's not fire that thing at anyone. I'd rather not have to fight you guys if I don't have to."

"Let him go." My former mount said, drawing his sword and leveling it at me, all friendliness gone from his features.

"Soon as he uncocks then drops the gun." I said, wishing that I could get my knife out of my pocket but unable to if I wanted to keep the guy I was holding from pointing his weapon at me.

We were all tense for a moment before the other sword user said "Do as he says Jay."

"What, are you out of your mind Rico?!" Jay asked incredulously.

"He was perfectly friendly until you pointed your gun at him, and he says he doesn't want to fight. Let's all just calm down and discuss things rationally." Rico said, sheathing his sword then holding his hands away from his body.

After another tense moment, Jay tsked before he pushed the hammer of the pistol back forward then dropped the pistol. I let go of his arm and pushed him over to his buddies, pulling out my knife once I did so but leaving it closed for now as I kept my gaze on the only pirate with a weapon still out. We stared each other down for yet another tense moment before Rico said "Tyler."

Tyler sighed before he sheathed his sword as well. Nodding, I clipped my knife to my belt where I could get to it easier than in my pocket, though I kept my hand off of it as I said "Alright, the weapons are away, let's try to keep it that way."

"Fine by me, though I don't appreciate that trick you pulled." Tyler said with a huff, muttering something about how he never should have offered the orange slice.

I smirked and said "To be fair, it's just me on this island and I had no idea what a group of pirates would do if they found me. For all I knew, you guys would just kill me right out the gate and leave my corpse here to rot as you claimed all of my supplies for your own."

"Harsh, but true." Rico said with a slight chuckle before he moved to lean against one of the nearby trees and said "You got a name buddy?"

"Matthew, though I go by either Matt or Tac." I said, moving to lean against my own tree.

"So what are you doing here all on your own Matt?" Jay asked, picking up his pistol. I tensed as he did so but relaxed as he simply wiped the dirt off of it then holstered the fire arm.

"Wilderness challenge. An acquaintance made me a bet that I couldn't last six months here if he only gave me a pallet of tape and a knife." I said before I smirked and gestured at my camp as I said "I've been managing fairly well so far."

"I'll say." Rico said with a chuckle.

"Speaking of which, any chance we could trade you for some of that tape?" Jay asked, before he smirked and pointed as he said "Better yet, think you could make me one of those hats?"

He was pointing at the Stetson hat I had made out of duck tape, something I had made a week into my time on the island during a passing rain storm. Shrugging, I said "I don't mind making you one, but you're going to have to trade me for the tape used."

"I'm sure I'll come up with something." Jay said easily.

Tyler shook his head with a smile and said "Come on guys, you can discuss that on the way back, we need to tell the captain about what we found."

"Right." The other two said, and Rico gestured for me to head back to the beach. Giving a slight sigh, I quickly walked over to grab my hat then followed Tyler as he led the way out onto the beach.

As we left the trees, Tyler raised an arm and said "Yo Captain, I've found our Islander!"

"So I see!" The big man called back with a grin. I idly noticed that he was the only one still by my solar still, the rest of his crew back at the long boats getting out barrels, most likely for water given their size. Striding over to me, the Captain kept his grin on his face as he offered me a hand and said "Captain Saul Nathaniel of the Roaming Orchestra Pirates, 17 million bounty, at your service."

Shaking it, I said "Name's Matthew, call me either Matt or Tac. Just a simple guy doing a survival challenge."

Jay snorted and said "There ain't nothing simple about Devil Fruit users Matt, even Zoans like you."

"Oh, you've made a deal with the devil have ya?" Nathaniel asked with a raised eyebrow.

"You could say that. I hate not being able to swim but the being able to leap through the trees as easily as walking on the ground's been cool." I said with a smile.

Nathaniel let out a bark of laughter and said "Ha, then you'd be that critter my boys were playing with earlier I take it."

"Yep, Ring Tailed Lemur Zoan." I said with a nod, my tail forming behind me and waving for a bit before going away again.

Nathaniel chuckled at that and said "Smart of you, approaching pirates in that manner. Not every crew is as nice as ours is after all." He then frowned and said "Course, some people would probably just as soon shoot an animal as offer it a snack."

"True, but I'd be a smaller and faster target than if I was human size." I said with a shrug.

"Fair enough." Nathaniel said with a nod before he clapped his hands and said "So Matt, I don't suppose you know how to play an instrument?"

"Well I used to play a Clarinet then an Alto Saxophone but that's been years, just over a decade in fact." I said with a shrug.

Nathaniel grinned and said "Well why don't we see if we can't knock some of the rust off and you can join us for the night eh?"

I blinked at the suddenness of that before I shrugged and said "Sure, I don't have anything better to do." It wasn't like I was going to play a game on my phone with these guys here. Friendly pirates or not, I didn't want to tempt anyone into stealing it.

Nathaniel gave a hearty pat on the back that had me stagger a couple of feet forwards and he laughed as he said "That's the spirit!" The Captain then all but shanghaied me to his ship in his enthusiasm to get me an instrument, and soon I was on board and assembling an Alto Saxophone. Choosing a number two reed for the mouthpiece, I said "Fair warning, after all this time I'm probably going to sound like a strangled cat."

"Wouldn't be the first time we've heard that sound on this ship!" A snickering female crewmate that had stayed on the ship called down from the rigging overhead.

"She's right, hazard of being on a ship where you have to pick up an instrument to join." Nathaniel said with a grin.

Shrugging again, I flicked my tongue over my lips then stuck the reed in my mouth for a few seconds then attached it to the mouthpiece. I played a quick scale and winced at the squeaking sound I made, making an adjustment to the mouthpiece before I tried again. This one came out much better and I managed to knock the rust off of my memory in order to play the theme for the Andy Griffith Show.

When I finished, Nathaniel and the other crewmembers still on the ship gave a quick round of applause and Nathaniel grinned as he said "There you go! Just like riding a bicycle!"

"So it seems." I said with a nod.

Clapping my shoulder with his hand, Nathaniel chuckled as he said "You can get with the rest of the sax players after lunch to see what we plan to play tonight. For now, I don't suppose you'd be interested in trading for some of that duck tape Tyler said you have back at camp? Stuff's rather useful on a ship after all."

"Well, I could use a few wilderness tools like a fire starter and an axe of some kind." I mused to myself.

"That's the spirit!" Nathaniel said with a grin and soon I had put my loaned Alto back in its case and we were making our way to my camp with the ship's quartermaster to see about an exchanging of goods.

Lunch that day was great. It might have just been plain sandwiches to most, but after a month without even being able to make bread I was practically in heaven, especially since the crew's chefs had _bacon_ for us to eat. After we had finished eating I did wind up with the rest of the crew's saxophone players who had claimed their own spot on the beach with chairs, stands, and sheet music. They helped me get used to reading said music again, being rather patient with me as they did so. It took a couple of hours, but soon enough I was once again able to properly read the music and play it without having to pause in order to think of what note corresponded with which combination of holes covered or opened. The fact that I could now play the much lower notes easier then back in high school came as a nice surprise, though the higher notes still came out more as squeaks half the time.

Dinner was even better than lunch, the chefs having dug out a large fire pit in the beach during the day and using a carefully controlled fire to slow cook soup in five rather large pots. I swear my mouth all but exploded at my first taste and I honestly didn't care about how I had moaned in delight earning laughter from all around me.

After dinner, even more chairs and stands were brought from the ship and placed in a large semicircle and that night, I got a personal look at why the Roaming Orchestra Pirates got their name. They put on quite the show, seemingly pulling out all of the stops as we played under the light of several torches stuck into the beach, the cooking fire turned into a massive bon fire cheerfully blazing a safe distance away. It made me glad that I had taken a moment to set my phone to record before I had sat down with the other Saxophones.

As fun as that day turned out to be though, the Roaming Orchestra Pirates only stayed for another full day in order to make any necessary repairs of their sails and the outside of their ship before leaving on the morning of the third day. They left behind a three sectioned spy glass, a harmonica with the crew's Jolly Roger painted on the top, a small hatchet and whet stone set, and a magnesium and flint fire starter, taking with them about thirty rolls of duck tape. All in all, not a bad exchange.

Time Skip: Two And A Half Months Into Survival Challenge

I let out a whoop of glee when I finally found the bullet proof vest. It was hanging from the top of a tree three quarters of the way around the island beach. I must have walked under it at least six times when I had been exploring the island and had only found it now because I had been seeing if I could traverse the entire edge of the island without actually touching the ground. I was pleased to note that the vest was the kind that used specially woven fibers rather than metal or ceramic plates to resist bullets making it much lighter than it could have been. I was rather certain that I would be thankful for that fact in the future whenever I had to fight for a long time with it on.

After I had slung the vest on over my shirt, I continued hopping from tree to tree and considered how far I had gotten in my training. I had gotten much better with being able to change only certain parts of my body into that of a Lemur's, or in the case of my eyes, _keeping_ some of my human parts when I changed. For all that they had excellent night vision and even pretty good day vision, lemurs didn't actually see in color so I had to juggle whether I wanted the slightly extended sight or see more details when I changed. The nose on the other hand was leagues better than my old one and my hearing skyrocketed as well. Of course, there were my limbs to consider as well. I had gotten to the point where I could turn everything on my legs from my ankles up into Lemur legs under my pants and literally leap a dozen feet from a standing start. That ability to hide the change would definitely come in handy during a fight down the road I'm sure. I had also learned how to only change the palms and soles of my feet to those of a lemur's making it much easier to climb things.

Haki though was a bit of a mixed bag. I had finally gotten the extreme basics of Observation going entering the second week of my second month here and I now had a fifteen foot range of Observational Haki up most of the time as a multi task challenge. The amount of plant and animal life I picked up if I wasn't careful in registering what I was sensing was absolutely _**insane**_! Seriously, there should NOT be that much insect life _inside_ of trees for Log's sake! It was fascinating on a scientific level if I focused on only one tree but downright terrifying if I allowed myself to think about what I knew the higher level pirates and Navy personnel were supposed to be capable of with this thing. The thought of being able to sense things over the god dammed ocean with all of its microbiological life and being able to pick up individual, and even SPECIFIC sentients on nearby or even far islands was a mind boggling display of information sorting.

Armament Haki was pretty interesting as well. I had started working on it three weeks ago and I was already making small amounts of progress. I could now make my finger and toe tips completely black. And while I _thought_ that was good progress for being self taught, it was a far cry from allowing me to wade through a sea of bullets without worry like Superman. Still, I was somewhat hopeful I'd be able to cover multiple limbs with the stuff once my training period was over.

I was brought out of my musings when I reached camp and blinked when I found an island chicken pecking at my nut/berry storage bin. Grinning down at the bird from my vantage point in the tree above it, I dropped down on it and cackled as it squawked in surprise when my hands wrapped around its body. Lifting the struggling bird up so that I way I could look into its eyes, I grinned and said "_Hello, dinner_." I was going to be eating good tonight!

Time Skip: Three Months After Arrival

When I woke up this morning it took my brain a moment to process what it was seeing, though I couldn't honestly blame it. After all, seeing what looked like my NERF N-Strike ELITE Battlescout sans ten dart harmonica style ammo clip floating in the air and spinning over my hammock like what weapons would do in the Doom games first thing in the morning was a rather strange thing to see indeed. After a moment of just blank staring, I sat up in my hammock and grabbed the gun by the top rail where you could add a camera module and looked at it in confusion.

It _looked_ like my Battlescout, with the removable shoulder stock attached and the Battlecamo colors of grey, white, blue, and orange all in the right spots. Heck, it even had the light purple stains on the right side which I had never actually figured out where they came from. But a closer examination of where the ammo slot was supposed to be for the harmonica clip showed that it didn't actually _have_ an ammo slot, the area in front of the barrel instead one smooth bit of plastic on the right side while on the left there were four small lights, starting with green closest to the center of the gun and then going to the barrel as yellow, orange, and ending with red.

Frowning at the weapon in my hands, I asked "How is _this_ supposed to be an actual weapon? I can't even shoot the darts it's meant to shoot!"

An envelope floated down into my lap and my head jerked up instinctively trying to see where it came from. But of course there were no holes in my tent roof and I glanced back down at the envelop. Putting the Battlescout facsimile down, I picked up and opened the envelope, pulling out the letter inside and read the letter out loud to myself.

"Hey there, Matt! Congratulations on making it through the first three months. As promised, here is your medium weapon, and yes, this _is_ a weapon, don't let the exterior fool you. As you've probably surmised by now, I took the Battlescout you owned before you arrived in this world, I thought it would be fitting to take something you previously owned and modify it to serve you better.

For starters, I've given it the rough environment treatment. You can bury it completely in sand or leave it in the ocean for a full day and it will still work perfectly fine. I did that with an automated cleaning spell so you don't have to worry about taking out all of the little screws to maintain it. Also, the outside shell is now a hundred times more durable than before. It can still be broken if a large enough amount of force is put on it but it would take something like a giant stomping down on it to do so, and putting Armament Haki in it will make it even harder to break.

I'll admit, what to use for ammo stumped me for a short while. You obviously couldn't expect NERF darts to be of any help in this world after all. But then I remembered the Minks and thought 'Ah, why not?' I'm sure you know that on top of being comprised of several anthropomorphic animal species, Minks are known for being able to channel their bio-electricity, AKA Electro, as weapons. Your Battlescout now does something similar which combined with your Lemur Zoan fruit makes you into a facsimile Mink. Should be interesting when you reach Zou, no? Anyway, I should probably explain just what exactly your weapon fires.

To put it simply, your Battlescout is now a wireless zap gun. Notice the lights on the left side of the gun just before the barrel? Those show how much of a charge each shot has, green for the lowest possible charge with red being the highest. Think of it in terms like the Fire Emblem magic system: You've got Thunder, Elthunder, Arcthunder, and Thoron. As you might have guessed, the charge levels are controlled by the pump mechanism underneath the lights, one pump per level of charge which means you can pump the gun four times before you need to fire. It should also be noted that you need to pump at least once every time you want to fire this weapon.

That's ammo, let's talk range. Obviously, how accurate you are determines how far away you can hit a target but the 'bullet' of electricity you fire will also impact that distance. The higher the charge, the longer that bullet can travel before dissipating. The general rule of thumb for this gun is twenty five feet per pump, giving you a max distance of one hundred feet. In order to aid you with aiming purposes, I have left a laser equipped scope and a distance doubling rifling barrel attachment on top of the cliffs near your camp. But of course, the fact I left them there rather than with the gun itself means it won't be so easy getting them as just climbing up there. You have to complete a time and accuracy based shooting challenge first.

The challenge involves multiple moving targets within twenty five feet that you will have to get bullseyes on within a single minute, with each new target appearing only after you have gotten a bullseye on the previous target, twenty targets total. You can try this challenge as often as you like and there are even harder levels once you do finish it to help you further train with your weapon.

Good luck with your new Battlescout Matthew, you are _definitely_ going to need it down the road."

"Well that's certainly not ominous at all." I said dryly to myself when I read the last line of the letter. Then again, I was in a world where Pirates and Marines could field literally armies against each other so the thought of me and the Straw Hats eventually running into an army on army level situation wasn't _too_ far out there.

Shaking my head free of that thought, I got out of my hammock and put on my shoes, intent on getting some breakfast before I went to see just what this challenge looked like. Of course, in order to reach said challenge, I'd have to get not only me but the Battlescout up there as well. Luckily though, there were two bandoleer clip mounts on the gun, one directly behind the rear sight and the other on the bottom of the handle so I was able to easily make a sling out of duck tape to hold the weapon close to my body as I climbed. It felt rather awkward on my back like that due to it bouncing and as I climbed up I made a mental note to work out some kind of sheath for the weapon, though the pump handle at the front of the gun would make it a bit of a challenge to make one that wasn't too loose to properly hold the gun if I had to bend forward or even go upside down for whatever reason. Maybe a clip harness once I got back to civilization?

Regardless of how comfortable or not the Battlescout was, I was soon at the top of the cliff and I let out a low whistle as I said "Man, when this guy wants to make a challenge area, he doesn't do things by half."

The two hundred foot tall cliff of the island was vaguely rectangular shaped, the side facing my camp a sheer ninety degrees while the opposite side sloped down to the rest of the island at a less severe but still respectable sixty degree slope. Its back area was another slope, in between the two different angles as you went from one side to the other, roughly five hundred yards long and a hundred wide, a few trees scattered on the inland end but otherwise barren rock. Or rather, it _was_ barren rock.

Situated in the middle of the cliff was a completely smooth metal floor made out of ten foot square panels two hundred feet long and fifty feet wide, a small wall of metal coming up to my waist surrounding three sides leaving the side facing the rest of the island open. There were ten foot tall arches three feet thick and made out of metal every twenty five feet with a red line mirroring them on the floor and the walls and all of the arches were connected together by a metal beam going down the middle, the metal of the beam all one piece and slotted so that its top was only six inches taller than the arches. On the underside of said beam and arches were black domes, only an inch separating them from the ones next to them. The open end of the arena had the metal floor continuing ten feet past the walls and as I walked onto said floor, a holographic image of a bull's eye with words over it appeared in front of a four foot by four foot square in the middle who's forward edge was connected to one of the red lines going across the width of the shooting gallery.

At the sight of what the holographic words _were_, I couldn't help but chuckle and said "Target Practice For Dummies, Really?" Shaking my head, I stepped into the square and intuitively 'tapped' on the hologram. Instantly, the image changed to a quick bit of tutorial text. Pretty standard all things considered, there were challenges for each range, including all of the distances from my spot to a selected spot, you had your choice of accuracy, timing, or both, along with the difficulty settings of standing or moving targets. At the end was a reminder that if I passed the first speed and accuracy challenge for twenty five feet then I would be able to get the two Battlescout upgrades. Directly under that was the question of if I wanted to try said challenge right away or practice shooting at the targets first.

Deciding that I really should get the action of pump-aim-shoot down before I tried the challenge, I selected the latter and the hologram faded out. A moment later, the shooting range began making the humming sound of large electronics powering up and several human shaped hard light holograms formed on the range, starting at ten feet and going all the way down to the hundred foot line. Cracking my knuckles, I brought the Battlescout into position and looked down its sights before giving an experimental pump. Seeing the green light immediately light up, I took a deep breath and said "Alright, let's see what you can do."

As soon as I pulled the trigger the gun spat out a bullet of electricity which hit the bullseye of the closest target's chest. I had a second to see that the bullet had some actual penetration to it and there was a brief arc of electricity over the hologram before it faded away. Seeing the penetration, I let out a soft 'huh' of thought then very deliberately pumped the gun four times, sighted, and fired. I got three targets in one go for that one, though the bullet noticeably dissipated _far_ from the described hundred foot distance. Nodding to myself, I said "So the bullet loses some cohesion as it travels through solid objects as well as the air, good to know."

With that little fact noted, I settled my stance and began trying to build up an appreciable firing rate. Accuracy could come later, I still had three months on the island after all, and it didn't matter how accurate you were if the enemy shot you before you could even get a shot of your own off.

Time Skip: Four Months In

There was a rather large storm going on outside of my camp site making me glad that I had used five layers of tape when making my tent. A sudden feeling of danger had me looking up from my game of Pinball on my phone and I frowned as I turned it off and moved to the entrance of the tent to look outside. There didn't seem to be anything immediately near the campsite but the feeling remained and so I put on my coat and grabbed the Battlescout and my three section telescope heading for the beach. Nothing seemed obvious on the beach so I took out the telescope from my coat pocket and began scanning a wider area. Even with the lights on board it took me about ten minutes of constant searching before I finally spotted a ship in the stormy weather that was on approach. What I saw on that ship had me paling as I muttered "Ah, hell!"

The ship was still too far out for me to get a good look at the Jolly Roger but what I saw was enough to tell me that I was in trouble: the flag was predominately RED. The crew must be particularly blood thirsty if they used that color as their standard flag color meaning it was highly unlikely I wouldn't have to fight them when they made landfall. The only things I had going for me was that the ship appeared to be a Caravel so I wasn't dealing with a very large crew and there was very little chance they could have spotted me since my camp was hidden by the trees and I wasn't stupid enough to have my cellphone's light on when I came to the start of the beach looking for what had set off my danger sense. No wait, I did have one other advantage.

Turning away from the approaching ship, I quickly sprinted back to my camp and took my coat off before quickly putting on my bullet proof vest. Pulling the straps taunt, I redonned my coat and now feeling much more confident of my chances went back to the beach. By the time I was back, the ship was now close enough that using my spy glass I could both see its Jolly Roger and some of the actual crew.

The Jolly Roger had devil horns on the skull and the cross bones were a sword with blood drops on it crossed with a pistol that had a musket ball shooting out of the muzzle, complete with gas fire ball at the end between weapon and ammo. The crew seemed to consist of the type of bulky muscular men who mainly worked as Mafia enforcers, the man wearing the captain's hat the meanest looking of the bunch with no less than five flintlocks strapped to a bandoleer going across his chest and two cutlasses hanging from his belt, one on either side. Counting him, there were eight men on the ship that I could see, and as they got closer my much improved over the months Observation Haki confirmed that this was the entire crew, and each and every one of them radiating enough malice to make old Voldemort offer them a spot in his inner circle within the first minute of meeting them.

Seeing all of the flintlock pistols the crew carried I tsked to myself and said "At least all of this rain will keep those guns from working. Still, you'd think a crew that's as ready for violence as this one would have a counter for the rain…oh what the hell!?" I gripped the spying glass harder as one of the crew mates went into a cabin and came back with rifles that had cloth coverings over where the dry powder igniters were and began handing them out. Gritting my teeth, I hissed out "Murphy, you are such a god damned bastard!"

Growling to myself, I snapped the spying glass closed and said "Right, well no way I can just play hide and seek, there's too much gear at the camp to move it all quick enough and these guys would definitely take it all if they found it. Looks like I'm going to have to just kick their collective asses and force them to leave."

Gritting my teeth in determination, I watched as the ship came closer to the beach before it dropped anchor no more than a hundred feet down the beach from my location in the trees and a landing skiff loaded with barrels was dropped from the port side, all but two of the crew members climbing a rope ladder down into it once it was in the water. The landing craft was a tight fit for the six men but they positioned themselves in a way that said that they were used to this as they rowed towards shore. The crew quickly beached their landing craft and the Captain shouted over the storm "Alright boys, you know the drill! Let's get the water then get out of this rain!"

"Aye Captain!" One of the sailors shouted back just as lightning flashed through the air.

I gave the sky an unimpressed look at its sense of theatrics before I glanced back down and watched as just like the Roaming Orchestra Pirates my unwanted visitors immediately began heading in the direction of the closest source of fresh water. Clearly my little island retreat was a popular resting stop for traveling pirates in this part of the East Blue if not one but two crews were already familiar with the local geography. I shook those thoughts from my head and turned on the laser sight for the Battlescout and made sure it's six inch rifling barrel attachment (RBA) was properly locked in place over its much more stubbier barrel. Then I pumped the gun four times and put it to my shoulder. I took in a deep breath as I lined up on my first target then squeezed the trigger.

With how dark it was coupled with the downpour, my first shot could have been mistaken for an overhead lightning bolt, it was visible so shortly. The bullet slammed into the captain's right kneecap and he went down with a roar of pain. As the rest of his crew dropped their barrels and scrambled for their weapons, I switched targets and the man immediately behind the captain on his right went down from a similar shot. One of the remaining pirates got his weapon up just a little quicker than the others and fired a shot into the woods. His bullet hit a tree fifteen feet to my right and I gave him a bullet to his right shoulder as a consolation prize dropping him just as effectively as if I had gone for the kneecap. By that time though the remaining three pirates had their rifles up and were firing into the tree line. A bullet slamming into the tree trunk at where my head would have been if I was standing had me quickly darting behind the tree.

Putting the Battlescout onto my back, I shifted into Zaboomafoo and quickly darted to my left and once I was three trees down scampered up the tree onto a branch before I shifted to my half and half form and brought my weapon to bare again. By that time, the Captain and the other guy I kneecapped had struggled into a kneeling position and had joined in with their own fire at where I used to be. Putting the red dot of my laser sight on the next uninjured pirate's forehead, I muttered to myself "I gave them three warning shots, let's see if they get the message now."

The pirate I had sentenced to death jerked once as little arcs of electricity briefly sparked around his forehead before he dropped to the ground. That did what my limb shots hadn't and the Captain shouted "Retreat!" The others didn't need any further encouragement and the two uninjured pirates quickly grabbed the captain and the other kneecapped pirate by the backs of their shirts and rapidly dragged them back to their landing boat, the one I got in the shoulder right on their tails leaving the body of their comrade on the beach along with his gun, the shoulder shot's gun, and the barrels that were supposed to hold the crew's new water supply.

I sent more lightning bullets after them, this time having the rounds impact the sand around their feet but I had to stop with a blink of surprise as the Captain shouted out "Fire the forward cannon!"

"Say what?" I muttered to myself with wide eyes before there was a flash of light from the ship. I leapt out of the tree just before it exploded and I landed in a roll as I snarled out "Alright, now I'm pissed!" I immediately began firing again but the pirates had gotten back to the boat and they were using the barrels that they hadn't taken off the skiff yet as cover even as the two unwounded rowed like mad back to the ship, quickly getting out of my range. Adding to my irritability, the ship fired a second cannon round that I had to quickly drop back to the ground to avoid. Scowling as I lifted my head from under my hands, I growled as I saw the pirates quickly being brought back onto their ship and I muttered "Yeah, you better run away you bastards."

I warily watched as the pirates quickly brought up the anchor and the ship moved away from the island, watching them through my spyglass until the lights on their ship disappeared. Once I was sure they were gone, I sighed as I said "Hopefully they don't come back here again." I then made the mistake of looking at the body that they had left and I felt my stomach heave a little at the sight. Managing to not throw up, I trudged over to it and scowled as I gave the corpse a light kick and said "Great, now I've got to bury your sorry ass."

I'd honestly be a little more scared of just how nonchalant I was about having just killed a man except for one very important thing: Their flag had been RED. Anyone who flew under a flag with that color as the default deserved whatever they got coming to them. Shaking my head, I looked up at the still going strong storm and said to myself "I'll bury you when the storm ends, it's not like there's coyotes or other scavengers on the island."

Turning away from the corpse, I grabbed the dead pirate's rifle as well as the shoulder shot's dropped one and brought them to camp. I could probably sell them for some cash once I got off the island and reached an island with a weapons store on it. I'd bring the barrels to camp as well when the storm died down. Barrels were always useful after all. I made a mental note to check the corpse's pockets tomorrow as well for anything useful. After all, the guy was dead, what use did he have for what he had in them now?

Thankfully for me, the storm blew over during the later half of the night leaving relatively clear skies of only a few large white clouds. After searching the guy, I came up with a dagger that looked to be of inferior quality to my fold up knife, a small stack of five beri bills in one thousand denomination, and a compass. That done, I dragged the body by its shirt down the beach at least two thousand feet away from my solar still and dug a six foot hole in the sand about five feet from the tree line. I had to make a rather ugly looking shovel out of a pair of sturdy sticks in a cross formation held together by tape which also formed the shovel head but coupled with the sand of the beach rather than hard packed dirt I managed to get the hole dug by lunch. Once I dumped the guy in and moved all of the sand back, I left the typical cross made out of two sticks in the sand marking the place before I walked back to camp, just wanting to get my mind off the whole thing.

Time Skip: Five And A Half Months Into Training

I was just putting the collection bucket back under my solar still when I heard what sounded suspiciously like a lighthouse's fog horn coming from the ocean. Snapping my head up, I scanned the ocean before I squinted my eyes when I spotted a dot in the distance. Quickly heading to camp, I grabbed my spy glass before I sprinted back to shore and pulled it open and looked towards the distance. A few minutes later when I could finally make out details of the approaching ship I let out a rather large grin as I saw a familiar two masted ship, the Jolly Roger becoming clear four minutes later only confirming my knowledge. It looked like the Roaming Orchestra Pirates were coming back for a visit. Going by how Captain Nathaniel was standing on the bow and blew into his Saxophone making the fog horn sound again they were being 'polite guests' and 'calling in' first. Seeing the pirate with his own spy glass standing by the captain and looking towards the beach, I gave a wide sweeping wave of my free arm and saw the man say something to Nate who nodded with a grin as he put his Contrabass Sax back into place on his back and crossed his arms.

When the crew reached the island Nathaniel was the first off the landing craft and he grinned at me as he pulled me into a hug and said "Matt! Good to see you still alive!"

I let out a 'oomph' as he made a good try at crushing my ribs with pure arm strength before he thankfully released me a moment later without prompt and I grinned up at him and said "Captain, it's good to see you again. I've got to be honest though, I didn't expect to see you again, at least not on this island."

Nate chuckled and said "Aye, I don't blame you. But I thought it would only be polite to check on you before we headed out to the Grand Line."

My eyes widened and I said "You're actually going into that mad house?" I didn't doubt the crew's abilities per se, it was just that they hadn't given a single hint that they were going to change oceans, especially not to that pirate graveyard.

Nate nodded with a hum and said "Hm, indeed, we've been in East Blue for the last five years, and the North Blue for five years before that. It's time we moved on again so we're heading for our next ocean."

"I see. You guys have a Log Post yet?" I asked a rather sensible question in my mind.

"Hah! Of course we do, ten of them in fact! We bought them the last time we were in Logue Town and we're probably going to use all of them too given how crazy even Paradise is supposed to be compared to the Blues. It'll be a wacky five years before we make a try at the New World but fun nonetheless." Nate said with a grin that wouldn't be out of place on the face of a stunt pilot before the biggest air show of the year.

I gave a nod at that. From the world history and geography part of my memories that I was allowed to keep it most likely _would_ be a 'wacky' bunch of years for the crew.

I was drawn from those thoughts though when Nate's grin went from slightly demented to more eager as he said "What about you? Did you get any more visitors while we were gone or have you just been stuck lounging around in your hammock all day?"

I snorted and said "I have NOT just been lounging around all day you overgrown organ grinder monkey."

"Ha!" Nate barked out a laugh at the insult before he fell silent as he saw my face turn serious and I continued "And I did have more guests though they were nowhere near as nice as you guys."

"Oh? I'm assuming it was another pirate crew?" Nate asked curiously.

I nodded and said "Yeah, I didn't get a chance to find out their name but they had a Jolly Roger with devil horns on the skull and a bloody sword and a fired gun as the cross bones."

Nate winced and said "The Bloody Path pirates, Captain is named Kenchi Kikaro, bounty is currently at twenty five million beri after he and his crew completely slaughtered the small port town of Seagull's Roost." Giving me a quick look over, he said "They didn't manage to hurt you anywhere did they?"

I shook my head with a snort and said "They tried, even fired their ship's canons at me a couple of times but no. They didn't tag me." I then smirked and pointed down the beach and said "One of them wasn't as lucky though."

Nate and the rest of his crew currently on the beach followed my arm and when they saw the cross further down the beach Nate let out a soft "Ah." Turning back to me, he looked at me with a different type of concern and said "How are you holding up?"

I gave a shrug and said "I had a nightmare a week after the fact but they were flying a red flag as their default color, I can't exactly say that killing one of them could be considered a bad thing. And it made the rest of the crew get the hell off my island so I would probably do it a second time if I had to redo that fight."

"Fair enough." Nate said with a nod and gave my shoulder a pat before he began barking at his crew to get back to work, and that was that on that topic of discussion. That night, there was another bon fire and concert given, though this one was completely free style without any sheet music at all. just playing whenever and whatever each crewmember felt fit with the current music. I actually joined in a little with the harmonica I got as part of the trading I did with the crew a few months back, though I mostly just hanged back and made sure my phone was recording the whole thing. When the last piccolo fell silent at one o'clock, Nate stood up gathering everyone's attention.

The captain gave a fond glance around as he said "Lads, and lasses." He nodded at where the few females on his crew were sitting together before he continued "Tomorrow we begin heading for the Grand Line, which will be our new home for the next five years. Once we leave this island, it will be full speed ahead to Logue Town, and from there, to Reverse Mountain. Rest well tonight and as we travel to the end of this chapter of our journey, remember the times we have had here, both good, and bad. The friends we've made," He lifted an imaginary mug towards me in toast with a grin, an action several other crew members copied, "and the enemies we've left defeated and crying frustrated tears." Chuckles filled the air at that and Nate's grin got just the little bit wider before he finished "Cement those memories into your minds my Nakama, for they are what make us who we are, and then look towards the future as we continue to build on that foundation. And you can't build well if you're tired, so off to bed with you lot, we'll be lifting anchor at 0800 hours tomorrow."

With that slightly less than profound ending to his speech, Nate sent his crew back to the ship. As some of the crew made sure the fire was out before they joined the others in heading back, he walked over to me and held out his hand as he said "I know we'll be saying our goodbyes in the morning, but I still wish you luck for the remainder of your challenge."

I accepted it as I said "And I wish you luck as well. Stay on your toes when you get to Reverse Mountain, I've heard stories that an Island Whale has been camped on the other side for the last fifty years." (And again, the lines of world knowledge and story line memories were once more blurred as I tried to figure out why I would know that.)

Nate blinked at that before he nodded with a smile and said "Thanks for the head's up, we'll be careful."

He shifted his grip from my hand to a pat on my shoulder before he bade me good night and made his way over to the last landing craft and headed to his ship. I waited until I was sure he was on the deck before I let out a sigh and said "Two more weeks before I follow you guys." Shaking my head from those thoughts, I made doubly sure that the fire was out before walking back towards my camp. The last thing I did before I went to sleep was to set an alarm for 0700 so that way I would not miss my friends' departure.

The next morning was full of final goodbye hugs and words exchanged. When it was time for them to leave, I climbed up to the cliff top and watched through my spy glass as they slowly disappeared over the horizon. Giving a sigh and wishing them luck, I said to myself "Safe journeys you guys." I remained on that cliff long into the day and only got off around five in the evening when my stomach finally demanded food too loudly to ignore.

Time Skip: The Day Before The Straw Hat Pirates Arrive

Waking up that morning to the sight of my Switch next to my Battlescout put a grin on my face, and not just because I now had said Switch to play with. It meant that the six months of no indoor plumbing, none of my favorite foods, no temperature control, and all of the other hardships I had endured were coming to an end soon. Getting out of my hammock, I grabbed the letter that was next to the Switch and opened it up to read the letter inside.

_Hey there, Mate. First of all, I'd like to say CONGRATULATIONS! You've made it through the entire six months on the island. True, you had SOME help with that roaming group of musicians but I never actually said you had to go it _completely_ without help so I'm letting that slide. Besides, if I wanted you to have no contact I would've just made it so that anyone who came would just move to one of the surrounding islands, so like I said, no biggie. Now we get to the fun bits. The Straw Hat Pirates will be arriving onto the island at roughly 0900 hours so make sure you're awake by then. I won't be saying _where_ they're making landfall though so keep your eyes and ears peeled. Also, the firing range will be gone after midnight so make sure to get any last training you want done with the Battlescout before then. Finally, a deal's a deal, so here's your Switch back. Don't go turning into a gamer vegetable now that you have it again, and good luck out there._

Still grinning, I put the letter away with the other two and turned on the Switch. I planned to spend the next few hours between now and lunch getting reacquainted with this beautiful piece of technology.

After lunch I spent the afternoon collecting all of the duck tape traps I had scattered around the island. The animals caught in them all got stays of executions and I swear more than one of them gave deep sighs and had sweat drops of relief. I decided to leave the tape markers on the trees since I'm sure the people who visited the island after I left would appreciate them. (And it would be funny if some of them tried to find an inhabitant that wasn't there anymore. *Snicker*) Once all of the traps were collected, I made sure that my five gallon water container and three water canteens were full since you could never have too much potable water when on the seas after all.

After dinner, I spent a few hours on the firing range, doing my best to complete the last few challenges that I hadn't before. I was actually pumping the Battlescout for another shot when the firing range just suddenly vanished leaving the rock floor the cliff top had from before. Blinking at the complete suddenness of the act for a moment, I fired my charged shot off to the side and said "Well that's over I guess. He could have given me a five minute warning at least."

Shaking my head, I turned on my phone's flashlight and climbed my way down the cliff back to camp. There really wasn't anything else I could do now but get some sleep then track down the Straw Hats tomorrow morning.

END

Author's Notes: Poll and Update Schedule on my Profile

Alright, and that's the second chapter done, and we can already see how the differences in fruit make similar events occur differently.

For those who want an idea of what the Battlescout looks like, I took a picture and posted it on my Deviant Art account, just go to the link below. (Make sure you put dots between the triple w, dev, and com as well as take out the spaces behind each slash)

www deviantart com/ shinobidigidestined/ art/ NERF-Battlescout-790654965


	3. Chapter 3

3\. Lemurs, Monkeys, and Sheep, Oh My!

Story Start: 8:55 AM

I was in lemur form on top of the tallest tree on the cliff, the vantage point allowing me to see the entire island rather easily. Slightly harder to see was the ocean on the far side of the island but that's what spyglasses were for. As I swept said spyglass along the quarter of the island on the left of the cliff I spotted a small dot on the horizon. That dot slowly became a Caravel and for the first time in this world I saw a Pirate Ship ballsy enough to have not only their Jolly Roger on a flag at the top of their mast but also painted on their main sail as well. Lowering the spyglass for a moment, I let out a soft 'Huh' as I considered how confident my future captain must be to paint his symbol on the main sail. After all, unlike the flag which could be taken off, the main sail was much harder to change if you wanted people to not know that you were a pirate vessel.

Raising the spyglass back to my eye, I stopped studying the ship and began studying the visible crew. It was quite easy to tell who the captain was, the kid was wearing the exact same Straw Hat as the Jolly Roger. And he was definitely a kid, sitting cross legged on the sheep figurehead of the ship with a grin visible even from here. Seriously, the human face should NOT be able to stretch that much when you smiled.

Moving from the captain, I saw a green haired man leaning against the wall of the top deck. I would have thought he was asleep if not for the fact that he was tapping one of the three swords at his waist. I blinked and looked again. Yep, three swords, which meant that unless this guy had a telekinetic Paramecia or a Zoan that had more than four limbs this guy must use one of those swords with his mouth. My teeth immediately began aching in sympathetic pain at what he must put his mouth through during fights.

Moving on, I looked up at the crow nest where there was another kid that looked to be the same age as the captain, long nose, curly hair, and a naturally tanned skin. He had a hand shading his eyes from the sun and was squinting in that way you did when you were looking at something a fair distance away. The facts that he was so high up and wasn't using a spyglass at the moment to observe the island made me think he was the crew's long range specialist.

The final crewmember only came out of the ship interior when it was time to drop the anchor of the ship which told me that for some reason the ship's steering mechanism was inside rather than on the outside. I frowned at what I considered an engineering blunder but shook it off in order to get a good look at the orange haired girl who roused the swordsman into dropping the anchor. Going by how she had been steering the ship almost right up to the beach of the island, there was a good chance that this was the crew's navigator.

Closing the spyglass with a small snap, I cocked my head and said "That's a pretty small crew, even for the East Blue. If that crew is older than a few months I'll eat my hat." Seriously, there were barely enough people to work the three cannons I could see, (one bow, one on each side) and still steer the ship and I bet there was a fourth canon at the back as well which meant that if they got into a fight and were surrounded there would be no one left to steer the ship. It was quite clear at least defensively that they still needed to fill their roster some more.

Giving a shrug, I said "Well, I guess that's two things I can offer my services for." I _did_ have prior experience with sailing boats, though admittedly only small single sail Sunfishes, but I also knew the basics of loading and firing a cannon. (Thank you Mythbusters and Deadliest Warrior!)

Shaking my head at that thought, I quickly scrabbled out of my tree and repelled down the cliff side to meet them. Going half and half allowed me to quickly cover the distance between the cliff and where the crew had semi beached their ship in jumps and I arrived just as the crew was about to enter the tree line. Grinning as I came to about two hundred feet from them, I called out "Ahoy there!"

The crew turned around and at the sight of a giant lemur leaping towards them, the captain's eyes began to actually sparkle while the other three's jaws dropped. Then the kid I had identified as the long range expert pointed and blubbered out "M-M-Monster!" The next instant, he fell backwards, stiff as a board with foam coming out of his mouth.

Coming to a stop at the sight, I cocked my head and said "Uh, is he going to be okay?"

The green haired swordsman snorted and said dismissively "He'll be fine." The man flicked his thumb on one of his swords popping it out an inch before thumbing in back into its sheath as he studied me but otherwise made no other moves, clearly over his shock now.

The girl though was outright staring at me as she demanded "What the hell are you?!"

"Now that's not very nice, you guys are acting like you've never come across a Zoan devil fruit user before." I said with a pout, changing to my full human form as I did so.

"Cool! Hey, join my crew!" The captain shouted, eyes glowing even more even as he pointed at me.

The only girl on the crew slammed her fist down on the boy's head and shouted "Don't just invite him because he has a Devil Fruit like you!"

I cocked my head as I saw the poor guy's head get smashed all the way down to the beach, his neck stretching to keep the rest of his body upright and I asked "So I'm guessing he's got a Paramecia?"

His head snapping back into place like nothing happened, the captain laughed as he said "Shishishishi! Yep, I'm a rubber man!" He then pulled the right side of his mouth out a full three feet before letting it go and allowing it to literally snap back into place.

"Well that wasn't disturbing at all." I said in amusement before I turned serious and said "If you guys are offering though, I wouldn't mind joining. My survival challenge ended yesterday so I need a way to get off this island and you guys look like you could use another member for your ship, if only so that way you guys can fight and move at the same time."

"Survival challenge?" The sniper asked, suddenly sitting up like he hadn't just been frothing in fright a moment earlier.

I nodded and said "Yep, I've been on this island for the last six months roughing it with nothing but duck tape, a knife, and a few other things I got in a trade when another crew came to the island a few months ago."

"Cool." The sniper and captain said together, both with their eyes sparkling and the swordsman gave me a respectful nod at that.

The navigator though frowned and said "Why would you willingly spend six months on this island with so little?"

"Ah, now that's a bit of a tale." I said pulling my Battlescout off my back so that way it wouldn't poke in the sand as I sat down Indian Style. The weapon that was now on my lap got odd looks from all but the captain but I ignored those as I continued "First off, you have to understand that this world isn't the only one out there…"

An hour later, the Navigator, who I had learned was named Nami, pinched the bridge of her nose and said "Alternate realities. I should be calling you crazy, but that phone of yours is way beyond anything I've ever seen technology wise, and the stuff you have on it, not to mention your gun…"

"I still can't believe that guy took your memories like that." Luffy said with a growl.

I shrugged and said "Like I said before, Equivalent Exchange. Memories of a _possible_ future in turn for me remaining alive seems like a pretty damn good trade to me." Turning serious, I asked "So, are you guys alright with me joining you? If not, could I at least get a ride off the island and stick with you guys until you hit Logue Town or somewhere else where I could get my feet under me?"

"Well of course you're joining!" Luffy said, sounding insulted that I would think he _wouldn't_ want me on his crew.

"We do need someone to man the fourth cannon if we get in a fight. And learning this Haki sounds interesting." Zoro said with an eager grin, once more flicking one of his blades out with his thumb before clicking it back into its sheath again.

"Any man who can survive on his own for six months on an uninhabited island is welcome to travel with the Great Captain Ussopp!" Ussopp said with a thumb's up only to flinch at Zoro's dope slap and he rubbed the back of his head as he chuckled and said "Heh, heh, I meant, you've got my vote."

"And someone who has information on what the Grand Line is like would certainly be useful to have onboard when we get there." Nami mused to herself.

I grinned as I stood up and dusted off the seat of my pants as I said "Alright then, thanks for having me guys. Why don't we bring your ship around the island to my camp so we can get my gear on board then I'll show you where the water supply I was using is." I then cocked my head and continued "Though I'll need to make a basin for my solar still before we leave."

"You have a solar still?" Nami asked in surprise, as the rest followed my lead and stood up.

"Yep, made it out of the Seram Wrap that the pallet of duck tape came wrapped in." I said proudly.

"Nice." Nami said with a nod of approval. A minute later, the four of us were on the Going Merry using her oars to push off the shore so that way we could make our way around the island and beach much closer to my camp. After a quick explanation of why there was a cross on the beach, getting another nod of respect from Zoro, I lead the group to my camp so that way we could collect the six barrels the Bloody Path Pirates had abandoned in their hasty retreat and then lead the way to the stream to fill them up with water. (I had left them empty since it was so much easier just to fill my three water canteens when my five gallon drum was running low) Once the others were shown where to go to fill the barrels that they had already had on the ship, I got down to the business of making a large tub out of duck tap to put on the Going Merry that we could put sea water in and then put the plastic solar still top over so that way we didn't have to worry about running out of water while out at sea. Ussopp helped with this, showing me the best place to keep the still along with actually making it, the large container much easier to shape with two people rather than just one. After that, the pair of us stowed everything that had been in my camp including the tent top and tarp floor I had made out of tape since you could always use those kinds of things. My hammock also came with us. It was thick enough that it hadn't sagged yet and since the other guys slept on hammocks as well there was no point to NOT continue using it.

With all of that onboard, I thought we would be heading out. But it turned out that Nami took her job as a navigator extremely seriously and so was making a comprehensive map of the island, citing that the one that she had used to navigate to said island barely had any details of it. I merely shrugged and left her to it, pulling out my Switch and soon getting in a fierce Smashing contest with Ussopp, Luffy eagerly cheering us on and impatiently waiting for his turn. Even Zoro seemed interested in the game, which I blamed fully on the sword wielding characters.

Due to Nami's Cartography, it was approaching sunset when everyone was ready to go. When I asked just _why_ it had taken several hours to map an island barely five square miles big, Nami proudly whipped out a map that not only had all of the various water sources mapped out but also a topographical map AND a map that showed what the currents were like around the entire island. Needless to say, I was suitably impressed and my low whistle had Nami grinning as she practically glowed with pride.

Still, the fact was that we wound up staying the night before shoving off in the morning, me and the rest of the males _literally_ shoving Merry off of the beach she had been grounded on with her oars while Nami barked out orders. As we turned the ship then sailed away from what had been my home for the last six months, I gave it one last look before I turned my gaze out to sea. I was finally on my way to the greatest adventure of my life.

END

Author's Notes: Update Schedule and Poll on my profile. Please look at the Poll, it may be a new one.

Not much to say about this chapter except noting that it's roughly half as short as Tailor's equivalent. Just shows how having a different Devil Fruit makes interactions different.


	4. Chapter 4

4\. Heading For Baratie

The last day had been pretty smooth sailing. Good weather, Nami had put us on a strong current for a couple of hours that gave us just a little more speed, and the Going Merry practically sailed herself. As such, most of the day had been spent with the crew telling me about how they had joined. Luffy even told me about how he had gotten his Straw Hat. The fact that a YONKO of all people sacrificed an _arm_ for a scrawny kid in the 'weakest ocean' said that whatever adventures we were going to face that I had forgotten were going to be downright _**EPIC**_. That kind of origin story demanded nothing less.

Sleeping in a hammock that night on a shifting ship at sea rather than on an island or said ship when beached took a little getting used to. It didn't help when Luffy wound up shifting to hang sideways off of his hammock and with his body being rubber, his head had drooped a bit bending his neck at the base in a way that made him snore like a stuttering engine. Still, the kid was light enough that once I brought his head back to the rest of his body it was easy to shift said body back into proper hammock sleeping position.

Today was another good day weather wise, filled with clouds sure, but the kind of wispy white ones that would have Naras sighing in contentment as they lounged on a hill side for hours. At the moment though, I wasn't paying attention to them. Instead, I was leaning against the Mizzen Mast watching as Luffy loaded a cannon, Ussopp standing next to him. When they lit the fuse, I called out "Fire in the hole!" Nami quickly joined me in slapping our hands over our ears. As expected, the cannon let out a loud blast, waking up Zoro who had been sleeping on the roof of the kitchen. A pillar of water erupted at _least_ a hundred yards from the rock pillar that Luffy had been aiming at and he cocked his head as he said "Huh? That was way off!"

"What are you doing?" Zoro asked as he sat up.

"Cannon practice!" Luffy called back. Ussopp raised the cannon barrel on his turn and the cannon ball smashed right through the pillar. Luffy grinned and said "Awesome! You hit it on your first try!"

Ussopp grinned and said "Whadya think?! I'm awesome when it comes to aiming! Impressed?!"

"It's settled! You're our sniper!" Luffy said with a grin, clapping a hand on Ussopp's shoulder as they went to put the cannonballs back.

As they left the Mizzen Deck, I looked at Nami in confusion and said "Shouldn't that be 'Master Gunner'?"

Nami sighed and said "You really want to try to teach _Luffy_ proper naval terminology?"

Zoro's snort at her question perfectly expressed his idea of how well THAT would stick and I shrugged as I said "Eh, fair enough."

Nami glanced up at the sky noting the position of the sun and said "Well, I guess I might as well get started on lunch." She got up off of the lawn chair she had been reading on and Zorro and I followed her into the kitchen.

Fifteen minutes later, there was the sound of crashing and someone shouted "Come out you damn pirates!"

Zoro glanced up from where he had been leaning against the wall and said "Hm, that voice?"

I glanced at him, but turned my gaze on Luffy who swung open the door and called out "What the…Who are you?!"

He was answered by the voice shouting "How dare you, a nameless pirate try to kill my partner?!" There was another sound of smashing wood then Luffy's angered voice shouting out "Don't wreck my ship!"

I winced when there was a final smashing sound and said "Sound's to me like Luffy is the one doing the wrecking."

Nami sighed and said "I guess we better see what's going on."

We came out to the sight of a guy wearing sunglasses, a blue jacket, and with a tattoo on his cheek laid sprawled out on the deck. Zoro cocked his head and said "Hey, Johnny, what are you doing?"

"You know this guy?" I asked with my own cocked head.

Zoro nodded and said "Yeah, he and his partner are a couple of bounty hunters I've worked with in the past. Speaking of, oi Johnny, where's Yosaku?"

"Big Bro Zoro? Why are you on a pirate ship?" The now named bounty hunter asked as he spun to sit on his knees before shaking his head and said "That's not important right now, Yosaku's in big trouble!"

Quickly standing, the bounty hunter showed us where a pair of grappling hooks were attached to our ship, a smaller boat on the other end of the lines. A glance down showed another man wearing a green coat and a red face shield laying on a sheet, his bandage wrapped middle tinged with blood. Seeing that, I leapt over the side and down to him and began checking vitals as I called up "Ussopp, the first aid pack is right next to the fridge, grab it!"

"On it!" our Sniper called. A quick check showed that only Yosaku's torso was wounded so with Zoro's help we got him on board the Merry. Once we had him on board, I removed the dirty bandages, and I meant that there was more than just blood on them, and asked "So what happened?"

Ussopp returned at that point and I pulled on a set of rubber gloves and began cleaning the wound as Johnny said "He got a small hit when we were bringing in a bounty, but it wasn't anything we hadn't handled before, it was done bleeding within an hour even. But a few days ago, he began losing consciousness, his teeth started falling out, and his old wound opened up and started bleeding again. I didn't know what to do, so I had him resting on that island over there, but then a cannonball came from this ship!"

I glanced up at Ussopp and Luffy who had their eyes bugged and their jaws dropped before they gave short bows and said together "I am so sorry." Snorting slightly at that, I looked back down at the cleaned wound and seeing that for all of the blood on the old bandages it wasn't _too_ bad, secured a gauze pad on it with tape then rewrapped his torso with a fresh roll of bandages from the First Aid kit as I said "Sounds like scurvy to me."

"Sounds like it to me as well." Nami said with a nod of agreement before she snapped her fingers and pointed at Luffy and Ussopp and said "There are limes in the kitchen, grab twelve of them, the juicer, and a big bowl."

"Yes ma'am!" The two resident idiots said with salutes before they rushed back into the kitchen. They came back a moment later and as Nami began juicing the limes, I pulled off my gloves, turning them inwards and temporarily pocketing them until I could properly clean them and packed up the iodine bottle I had used as I said "Scurvy's a dangerous thing to catch, but pretty easily treated. Soon as we get some Vitamin C in him, he should be fine with a little more bed rest."

"Amazing! Hey, Matt, you never said that you were a doctor!" Luffy said with stars in his eyes.

"I'm not." I said with a shrug before I winced as Nami slammed her fist into our captain's head and said "Scurvy is something every sailor should know how to avoid if they're going to sail on a ship you idiot!" She then glanced back at me and said "Though you did seem to know what you were doing when you treated that wound. I'm guessing First Aid was one of the survival things you learned with that Boy Scout group you mentioned during your explanation two days ago?"

I nodded and as Nami finished juicing the limes, raised Yosaku into a sitting position. Taking the bowl from her, I said "While we can certainly 'specialize' in things we learn, every Boy Scout is taught First Aid as soon as we join, that way we can help not only ourselves, but others if we come across anyone wounded. At least until the professionals can get to us and/or them at least."

"Sounds like a good protocol to have." Nami said with approval.

I nodded again as I finished helping the still out of it Yosaku drink the juice and then laid him back down as I said "Alright, give him a few hours and he should regain consciousness on his own. Give him another couple of days and some more juice at meal times he'll be back to full health."

"Thank you very much!" Johnny said with a deep bow, tears visibly coming down from behind his sunglasses. I gave him a nod of acknowledgement and Johnny turned to Luffy and gave another bow as he said "My apologies for attacking your ship Captain. Permission for me and Yosaku to stay with you guys until he is better?"

Luffy grinned and said "You are friends with Zoro right? Stay as long as you want!"

Johnny gave a tearful smile as he gave yet another bow, this one in gratitude as he said "Thank you very much!"

Time Skip: That Night

We put Yosaku onto a bed of extra sheets and a quilt in the kitchen. Like I predicted, he woke up a few hours in and I had him drink two cups of juice along with the little bit of food he could stomach before he fell back into a much more peaceful sleep. As the rest of us sat around the kitchen table, Nami writing in the log book, she said "Let this be a lesson for the rest of us."

"Yeah, these kinds of things can happen on a long trip." Zoro said in agreement.

"Especially since we don't have much room for food on this ship." Ussopp said in agreement.

"At least we won't have to worry about fresh water with the solar still I brought." I said with a grin, taking a drink of said distilled water from my duct tape cup.

"Still, we should get somebody who'd know about the dietary business." Nami said.

"Dietary eh?" Luffy asked as he bit into a bit of bread. A moment later, he stood up and said "I know! We need a sea cook, let's go look for one!"

"I get it! Then, we'd have all sorts of delicious food to eat!" Ussopp said, standing up as well as he got excited like Luffy.

"EX-ACT-LY!" Luffy said, sticking out his tongue.

From where he was leaning against the stove with fist against face in a classic 'cool guy' pose, Johnny smiled and said "If you're looking for such a cook, I know where you could go." He then cocked his head and walked to stand in front of a sitting against the wall Zoro as he said "But, it's pretty close to the Grand Line, and the man that Big Bro Zoro's been hunting for, Hawk-Eye is around there too."

My eyes furrowed as I wondered if Johnny was talking about the _warlord_ Hawk-Eye, but kept my reservations as I saw the feral grin Zoro sported. At Luffy's eager nod, Johnny pointed and said "Then our heading is clear, we must head South-South West!* To the Floating Restaurant…the Baratie!"

"Well, if we were going to find a proper cook of the seas anywhere, it would be there." I said with a grin. An image of a ship in the shape of a giant fish popped up in my mind, my world knowledge providing the basic information of the restaurant as Johnny stated where our next destination would be. Seeing everyone looking at me, I continued "After all, it was built by 'Red Leg' Zeff, who was not only the captain of his crew, but also its _chef_. If anyone can train a group of cooks to handle the open seas, it'll be the man who spent a year in the Grand Line and came out no worse for wear."**

"AMAZING!" Luffy and Ussopp said with wide shining eyes.

"It seems we have our heading then." Nami said with a smile as she stood to make the needed corrections to our course.

"Yeah, to the Baratie!" Luffy shouted eagerly.

Time Skip: The Next Day

Even knowing what she looked like, the Baratie was impressive in person. Luffy of course was drooling in anticipation of good food, though considering he had asked if we could grill the giant fish upon sight he might have also been fantasizing about eating a giant fish. Still, as amazing as the restaurant looked, there was something else catching my attention. Hearing a second ship pulling up alongside ours, I glanced back and called out "Marine Vessel off our Starboard Stern."

"EH?!" The others asked, spinning around to look, Johnny immediately dashing into the kitchen where Yosaku was just waking up again, pushing him back in so that the two would be out of sight.

As the Marine vessel pulled up alongside us, I took in how while it was longer than us by about fifteen feet, it had the same amount of decks above water and said "Relax guys, I doubt there's anyone important on a ship that small."

"What was that?!" A pink haired man in a black lined white suit, screws on the first knuckles of his hands shouted, slamming one of said hands down on the railing. Leaning in with a sneer, he said "I'm the Marine Lieutenant, Iron Fist, Fullbody!"

"Like I said, no one important." I said with a scoff. Now, if there had been a _captain_ on board, we would have had trouble.

Fullbody grit his teeth with a growl before he seemed to gather himself and said "Hey, who's your captain? Show yourself!"

Luffy strode up and said "I am Monkey D. Luffy." I saw Ussopp take a step up as well before I yanked him back by his overalls, slapping a hand over his mouth as I did so. When Ussopp glared back at me, I said "This is no time for bluster."

Ussopp grumbled at that but gave a reluctant nod so I removed my hand and turned my focus back on the other conversation.

Luffy glanced back at us for a moment before he turned back around and said "Our Pirate Mark was made a few days ago!"

Fullbody scoffed and said "So I'm dealing with a bunch of amateurs, what a pain." His eyes then darted to the left where Johnny and Yosaku were hiding behind the Kitchen door watching and said "Though I do believe that I have seen those two before. You two claim to be pirate hunters don't you? Well to me it looks like you're the ones who have been captured, pathetic."

"Hey, don't mock us!" Yosaku yelled as they stepped away from the door and Johnny nodded as he reached into his jacket then threw a bunch of bounty posters to the side and said "We've captured plenty of pirates!" The posters drifted down to the ground, and sure enough several of them had Xs drawn on them, though it was noticeable that they were all in the thousands range, not a single one over ninety thousand. Nami stiffened as she saw one particular unmarked bounty, the Navigator crouching down to pick it up.

"Hmph, whatever." Fullbody said dismissively before his apparent date, a blonde in a red dress, stepped up to his side and said "Dear, stop wasting your time with these people, let's go."

"Of course my dear." Fullbody said, walking away causing the two bounty hunters to grumble at being ignored. My eyes narrowed when I saw Fullbody make a thumb's down at a pair of Marines like he was an emperor preceding over the gladiatorial arena and I said "Head's up people, it looks like they're gonna try and sink us."

"What?!" Ussopp asked in alarm. Before pointing as one of the cannons on the ship rolled out of its gun port and said "Matt's right, they're about to shoot at us!"

"I've got it!" Luffy said, legs wrapping around the railing and arms stretching out so that way he could grab our mast with one hand and Merry's figurehead with the other. The cannonball fired and hit him in the torso sending him flying back and he called out "Gum Gum Slingshot!" But just as he reached the extent of his stretching, Merry's figurehead splintered under his grip making him swing to stern. My eyes widened as he shot back forward releasing the cannonball which slammed into the upper level of the Baratie. As Luffy slammed into Merry's neck, I face palmed and muttered to myself "Damn it, of course we would have to do the 'damage a food establishment and thus have to serve as waiters' cliché, this wouldn't be an anime if we didn't."

Ussopp apparently felt the same way as he clapped a hand on Luffy's shoulder and said "Well, _Captain_, it looks like you get to explain to the restaurant people why you blew a hole in their roof."

"Ah, why me?!" Luffy asked in alarm.

"Because you're the idiot who launched the cannonball at them." Zoro said uncaringly and Luffy began to whine.

Sighing, I said "I've got experience with building houses since my dad was a Contractor, I'll see if they'll accept my help in repairing the wall for negating the repair bill. Luffy, get us up there please." With that said, I put an arm around Luffy who let out a whine but stretched his arm to the railing in front of the hole in the wall, rocketing us up there.

Once we reached the damaged section, we saw three chefs fretting over the head chef, identifiable by the large hat sitting on his bedside table and I said "Excuse me, who do I talk to about explaining what just happened?" (It was only polite to ask)

"That would be me!" The man on the bed said, gesturing for the others to move aside. I winced at the blood stain over his eye though that didn't prevent me from also noticing his peg leg as he stood up and said "I am Head Chef Zeff, care to tell me why you thought it was a good idea to blow a hole in my restaurant?!"

Luffy opened his mouth, but even having only spent a few days with him, I knew he was an idiot so I slapped my hand over his mouth and said "We were fired upon by the Marines by order of one Marine Lieutenant 'Iron Fist' Fullbody. My captain here has a paramecia devil fruit that turned him into rubber and tried to slingshot it back at their vessel but accidentally wound up pointed towards this one instead when he released the Cannonball. May I suggest you bill the Marines for the cost of repairs while I do the actual repairing. I _do_ have experience in housebuilding, worked for roughly ten years with a framing crew."

Zeff stared first at me, then Luffy with narrowed eyes before he glanced at the hole we were looking into the room through. Finally, he snorted and said "Your idea has merit. However, that doesn't cover the medical side of things. You." He pointed at Luffy who gulped and said "In order to pay for my medical expenses, you shall work for me for one month without pay."

Luffy gulped, sweat pouring down his face, but a glance at me had him nodding and I removed my hand from his mouth as he said "Alright."

"Then it's settled." Zeff said as he stood up. Glancing at me, he said "We have the number of a nearby lumber yard, but it will take a short while to reach us here. However, I expect you to be working on the hole no later than seven o'clock tomorrow morning."

"Of course sir." I said with a respectful nod even as I stepped through said hole, pulling Luffy with me. Zeff nodded before a _dangerous_ look appeared in his eyes and I was rather quickly reminded that peg leg or no, this man had taken on the Grand Line for a full year as he stomped out of the room and said "Good, then follow me, I have a Marine to _talk_ with."

We followed him out of the room, the three chefs quickly heading elsewhere when Zeff barked a command at them, and followed him downstairs. When we reached the ground floor, Zeff's eyes narrowed on the pink haired man with metal on his hands pushing his date's chair closer to the table and pointing said "Is that the man who ordered your ship to be fired upon?"

"It is." I said and Zeff let out a grunt before he strode through the tables and clapped his hand on Fullbody's shoulder. By the way Fullbody stiffened and his other hand snapped up to begin trying to immediately pry said hand off, Zeff had a rather strong grip on it. Zeff leaned forward and said something to Fullbody that had him pale so much, even Luffy and I could see it from where we were still by the stairs. Zeff said something to his date before he literally dragged Fullbody back to the stairs, snagging a blonde man in a black suit as he did so.

When Zeff returned to the stairs, he gestured at his fellow blond and said "This is Sanji, our Sous Chef, and for the next month, you do as he says, bus boy. Carpenter, I will see you in the morning."

"Yes sir." I said, watching as Zeff literally dragged the whimpering Marine Officer up the stairs before I turned to Sanji and held out my hand and said "Hi there, name's Matt, I'll be repairing your wall tomorrow. This is Luffy, who will be working off your boss' medical bills."

Sanji accepted the hand shake and said "Like the shitty Head Chef said, my name's Sanji." Dropping my hand, he turned his gaze onto Luffy and pointed his thumb over his shoulder as he said "Come on, there's a spare apron in the kitchen we can get you while I tell you what you will be doing here." The Sous Chef put his hand on Luffy's shoulder and lead the rubber man away, Luffy letting out a slight whine as he was led away.

I shook my head at the sight before I saw the rest of the crew enter the restaurant and went to tell them about our not so planned vacation. Even if Manga logic said that something would come up in the near future to interrupt said vacation.

END

Author's Notes: Poll and Update Schedule on Profile

Again, some more copy and pasting but there's just one chapter left before I can actually begin showing more differences between these three versions of the same story. Also, this chapter show's me that the proofreading and editing phase is _never_ finished. There were a few mistakes and word changes I had to make on the copied parts as well as the original.

Well, a much better deal than Luffy staying at the Baratie for a year has been reached, and Fullbody got what's coming to him. Although the question of whether he'd rather deal with Sanji over Zeff should be pondered. Next chapter we get introduced to Gin, so look forward to that.

*I KNOW that he actually says North-North East, but considering that the Reverse Mountain is in the SOUTH part of the East Blue, that makes no damn Geographical Sense, and as Tekking101 is fond of saying, _Geography is everything_!

**Remember that the Orbit was an East Blue ship, NOT a Grand Line one.


	5. Chapter 5

5\. An Interrupted Meal

Story Start: The Baratie

Sanji quickly returned after getting Luffy an apron. It seemed that even though he was the Sous Chef, he was pulling double duty as a waiter as well. Not that he seemed to have a problem with that job. He came out of the kitchen completely loaded to bare, dishes lining both arms and one leg, _somehow_ moving around in a way that nothing fell off the plates, not even the soups in their bowls, even when he _hopped down the stairs one legged_.

I shook that little mystery off as 'Anime logic, ignore' and took a glance through the menu. I had just decided on trying the bacon and cheddar brisket (_bacon_, mmm) when Sanji came to our table, notepad and pencil at the ready. He gave Nami a deep theatrical bow and said "My fair lady, I thank you for gracing us with your angelic presence. Please, tell this lowly chef what it is you so desire and I will endeavor to make it the most memorable meal you have eaten!"

As Nami gave a pretty blush that I was pretty sure was half for show, half genuine, I glanced upwards towards the ceiling and thought to myself 'Oh boy, we've got a Casanova here, I just hope he's not the kind to be antagonistic to the same gender as himself.'

"And what shall you bastards lucky enough to travel with this beautiful swan have?" Sanji asked after taking Nami's order.

'Called it.' I thought in amusement as the others gave their orders. When it came to me, I gave my order but also said "Hey Sous Chef, do you think you guys could make us a pitcher of a custom drink? I'm not entirely sure if you guys would know it but it's a pretty simple recipe."

"Hm?" Sanji hummed in curiosity before nodding and said "If you know the recipe then we can make it, easy."

Nodding, I put my hand in my pants pocket and pulled out my phone. Ignoring the odd look Sanji was giving the, by this world's standards, technological wonder, I pulled up the Safari internet app and quickly found what I was looking for. Holding the phone up for Sanji to see, I said "Here's the recipe."

Sanji quickly jotted down the recipe on a fresh page in his notebook even as he mused to himself "Applewood Julep eh, that's a South Blue drink I believe, yeah, we can make this for you no problem." And with that, Sanji quickly moved back into the kitchen.

"What's Applewood Julep?" Usopp asked with a cocked head.

Leaning back a little in my chair and putting away my phone, I said "It's a mix of a quart of unsweetened apple juice, a cup of unsweetened pineapple juice, a cup of orange juice, a quarter cup of lemon juice, all chilled, and a little bit of fresh mint sprigs. I figured I wouldn't be able to have it for a while given I'll be on a ship for long periods of time so I thought we could have it here."

"Hm, the mint at least would be rather hard to keep around without a dedicated garden on board." Nami said, nodding her head in agreement.

"It does sound interesting." Usopp said.

"Whatever, it ain't Sake so I don't care." Zorro said with a snort.

"_Heathen_." I hissed under my breath, only half joking. Zoro cocked his eyebrow at me but before he could say anything, Sanji was back, carrying a pitcher that had condensation on it denoting its chilled nature and several glasses, enough regular sized ones filled with water for us and a small stack of shot glasses as well. Setting the pitcher down in the center of our table and beginning to hand out the water, Nami first obviously, Sanji smiled and said "Here you are my lady and her hanger-ons, one pitcher of Applewood Julep."

"Oi, hanger-ons?" Usopp said lowly with an unimpressed look.

Me, I chose to ignore that little bit of gender specific trolling and instead poured myself a shot of the julep. Giving it a sip, I closed my eyes for a moment before I nodded and gave a thumb's up to Sanji as I said "Yep, that's Applewood Julep alright, I'm impressed you guys mixed it up so quickly. It usually takes me ten minutes to get everything measured out then mixed."

"You must not mix drinks often then sir, for something as simple as this, it is no trouble at all." Sanji said, pleased with my approval.

I snorted and said "You got that right. Usually my 'mixing' is limited to chocolate and strawberry syrup in my milk."

Sanji allowed a snort to pass through his nose as well as he said "Plebian. I suppose given how you shall be here for a while I shall have to show you how to _properly_ mix chocolate and strawberries into your milk. But for now, please enjoy the Julep while we work on your orders. They shall be out shortly." And with that, he gave an elaborate bow to Nami before zipping back into the kitchen.

Chuckling as he rose out of sight up the stair case, I looked at the rest of the currently captain less crew and knocked back my shot glass and said "I like him."

"You like him." Usopp repeated flatly.

I shrugged and as I refilled the shot glass said "Anyone willing to properly interact with the customers rather than just take orders and bring out food can't be too bad at their job."

"Eh, fair enough I guess." Usopp said with a shrug as he moved to pour his own shot before he stiffened and said "Head's up, that Marine guy is coming back down."

We all watched as the Lieutenant walked down the stairs. His cocky attitude was quite diminished, the pink haired marine looking like he had the wind taken out of his sails quite efficiently. He slowly made his way back to the table his date was sitting at and less sat down and more fell down into his seat. His date asked him a question, concern plain on her face and he answered her before he began spooning his soup.

A few minutes later, Sanji and Luffy came down the stairs again, Sanji placing our appetizers on the table in front of us while Luffy carried a large tub towards the tables where customers were finished eating. He _looked_ like he wanted to head to the tables where there was still food on the plates, but when Sanji glanced towards him, he stiffened with a full bodied shiver before he went back to collecting empty plates, whistling as he resolutely kept his gaze away from the cook.

Raising an eyebrow at the sight, I said "Geeze, what'd you do to him? When I joined this crew a few days ago I had to fight him off at meal times."

Sanji smirked and said "I merely told him I knew a few recipes for monkey meat that I'd like to try out if he wanted to volunteer."

That got Usopp and Zoro snickering and Nami giggled into her hand. I smirked and said "Mou, that was rather mean of you Mr. Chef."

"Perhaps, but if it keeps him from misbehaving then I will use it." Sanji said with a smirk.

There was the sound of mismatched footsteps on the stairs and we glanced over to see Zeff coming down the stairs. His eyes roamed over his kingdom as he made sure nothing was disrupting the customers. Fullbody stiffened fearfully as Zeff eyed him for a moment and the Head Chef smirked viciously for a moment before scanning the rest of the restaurant. I eyeballed yet another chef coming out of the hall that had a restroom sign on it, this guy looking like a top heavy Cuban with pop eye arms and thin legs. The man was drying his hands on his apron before everyone's attention was brought to the restaurant entrance as the double doors slammed open.

In the door way was a panicking Marine who shouted "L-Lieutenant! Lieutenant Fullbody! We've got a problem! The Pirate Krieg's man has escaped!"

"What?!" Fullbody asked in a panic.

"We've already lost seven of our men sir." The scared Marine said.

"That's ridiculous! When we got him three days ago, he was about to starve to death! And we haven't fed him yet, have we?" Fullbody said, stunned at how apparently an on death's door pirate could escape his brig.

As the customers began getting scared as well talking about how Krieg was the strongest of the East Blue, I noticed both Sanji and Zeff's eyes hardening when they heard that Fullbody had been starving the prisoner. Before I could figure out if that was just their pride as chefs talking or something else, a gunshot rang out and everyone's attention snapped back to the entrance.

The marine was lying on the floor, clutching at his bleeding right shoulder. And behind him, walking on slightly unsteady legs, was a man looking like death warmed over. The pirate made his way to an empty table and sat down, putting one of his feet on the table as he said "I don't care what it is, but bring me some food."

The Pop Eye look alike waiter came up to the table with hands clasped and said "But of course, you crook. But ah, do you have any money to pay for your meal?"

The gun the pirate was holding clicked as it appeared in the waiter's face. (And HOW that works is a question of anime physics I will never understand.) Giving the waiter a dead eyed look, the pirate said "Do you accept bullets?"

The chef's face fell flat and he said "That would be a no to having money then." The next instant, the chef slammed a fist down into the pirate's gut, sending him crashing through the chair and into the floor.

"Oi Patty, don't go breaking my chairs you bastard!" Zeff barked out.

"Wow, what power!" Usopp said in surprise.

"Meh, I could do better." Zoro said.

Usopp's expression went flat and he said "Zoro, you're not human so you can't talk."

"And your point is?" Zoro asked causing Usopp to grumble to himself.

Meanwhile, the now named Patty was beating the Krieg Pirate to cheers of the customers and other chefs who had taken positions on the stairwell railing. A loud growling sound interrupted the beating and Patty grinned as he said "Oh ho, your stomach's growling quite loudly there, you filthy pirate."

"Shut up, it's just gas." The pirate bit out.

Patty snorted and kicked the pirate a few times to more cheers before he gave the customers a curtsey before dragging the pirate out. I noticed that Fullbody was quickly escorting his date out of the doors just in front of him. Clearly, he wanted nothing to do with this restaurant. I glanced back at the rest of the captain less crew and said "Yeesh, the guy could have at least given him a loaf of bread then sent him on his way rather than just beat him up like that."

The other three made noises of agreement and Sanji gave a short bow as he said "If you will excuse me, I believe that I shall go check on the progress of your food."

He turned to leave and joined Luffy at the stairs, the rubber man's arms full of dirty dishes. Zeff followed the pair after a moment and I smirked as I said "Check on our food's progress, right."

"Matt?" Usopp asked with a confused tilt of his head.

Chuckling a little, I said "I'm genre savy enough to guess that he's going to make that guy a quick but proper meal. Two hundred Beri says that guy winds up our chef."

Nami grinned and said "I'll take that action!"

Still chuckling, I poured myself another cup of Julep and took a sip as I went back to waiting for the rest of our food to arrive, plans of what I could do with us staying around in one place for supposedly a month running through my head as I did so.

END

Author's Notes: Update Schedule and Poll on Profile

I apologize for this being almost completely copied from Tailor, but there was pretty much NOTHING for the Straw Hats to do during this episode. (Remember, same events, different fruit) Chapter six makes up for that though so look forward to that.


	6. Chapter 6

-6. Observing The World In A Different Way

Story Start: The Main Deck Of The Merry, After Lunch

"You sure about this?" Zoro asked with crossed arms as he stood in front of me.

I rolled my eyes and said "Yes, I'm sure. It's all well and good to have a weapon that can reach opponents two hundred feet away, but that weapon isn't an automatic and I won't always be able to stay separated from my opponents. If the fighting gets to close quarters combat then I need to know I can trust my rusty skills in Karate to keep me alive. I missed an opportunity to spar with members of the Roaming Orchestra Pirates when they visited that island, it would be the height of both foolishness and irresponsibility to not take advantage of the fact that the ship doesn't need to be sailed for up to a month here and do some serious combat training."

"Well you're not wrong there." Zoro allowed, dropping his crossed arms, his right hand drawing one of his normal Katana. Flipping it around in his hand so that the cutting edge was facing the wrong way, he assumed a defensive stance and said "Whenever you're ready."

Nodding, I took a deep breath before I dropped into an opening stance, feet separated with slightly bent knees, hands held loose in between a knife hand and a half fist in front of me. My old Karate teacher would have likely thumped me on the back of my head for that last one but with Observation Haki up and running it gave me the best option to work with. The digits on said hands bled into the obsidian black of my second stage Armament Haki and I said "Right, let's do this."

The next instant, I shot forward making a grab for Zoro's sword with my black fingers. I could see the slight surprise in Zoro's eyes even as he moved to intercept my path with a negligent 'cut'. Not that I would have blamed him if I had the time, that WAS a sword after all, blade flipped or not. Still, Haki. Quickly changing direction with my arms, I 'caught' the blade as it came in. Even as I was being thrown off my feet, I shifted into full Lemur mode and went for the ride up to the end of the swing, momentum causing me to swing in a wide circle as I did so before I suddenly turned into my half and half form kicking Zoro in the side of his head sending him stumbling away.

Shaking his head from the ringing in his ears, Zoro turned back towards me with an eager grin and said "Trickery matched with strength, you might just be a challenge after all." The next instant, he lunged at me and I went back to full lemur form, using my small size, excellent jumping ability, and Observation Haki to dance around the sword swings sent my way. Ten swings in, I managed to actually jump on Zoro's blade as it did a low horizontal swing that would have taken my neck off, jumped a second time onto Zoro's right shoulder then leapt even higher into the air where I shifted back into half and half and spun downwards. My Armament filled tail hit Zoro's quickly risen blade and the laws of physics came into play as he launched me spinning away from Zoro.

Somehow managing to turn full lemur again just in time to land reasonably lightly on the railing in front of the entrance to the kitchen, I shook my head a bit to clear the spinning in my head and said "Alright, that could have turned out better."

"Probably. Tell me, Could you actually replicate what you just did or was that more luck?" Zoro asked.

"Combination of luck and good timing." I admitted with a shrug before I grinned and said "Doesn't mean I'm not going to try again though." With that, I leapt up, but not in a way where I would fall over Zoro. No, I leapt at a flatter angle that let me easily reach Merry's mast. Barely a moment after contact I scrambled up it before I reached the yard arm. Holding onto the underside with my arms and my legs pushing against it in preparation to 'jump', I grinned down at Zoro and said "Round Two Sword Boy!"

"Oi, I'm 19!" Zoro snapped indignantly.

"And I'm 30, what's your point?" I asked before I let my hands go and pushed off the yardarm as hard as I could, shooting to the deck like a meteor. Zoro tsked to himself even as he lazily moved his sword up to deflect. Then he got a face full of fur as I shouted "Fur attack!" Zoro spluttered as some of the fur launched into his face got into his mouth, distracting me long enough for me to grab the sword with my hands and swing around it, shifting to full human as I came up again giving me momentum to toss the blade, and thus Zoro over my shoulder and a few feet away from me.

Grunting as he hit the deck, Zoro stared up at the clouds above us and asked "What was that?"

"That was me taking advantage of Physics." I said as I strolled over to look down at him for a moment before offering him my hand.

Zoro clasped his hand into mine and I hoisted him up. Shaking his head, he said "No, I understood HOW you threw me like that, even if I'm surprised at how good you are at timing those form changes of yours, I was asking about the fur. How'd you shoot it at me?"

"Oh, that. I brought my human finger nails back, Haki'd them up and scrapped them down my arms like razor blades to get a couple handfuls of the stuff then threw it at you." I explained with a shrug.

Zoro shook his head with a huff and said "Like I said, you're pretty good with that shape shifting of yours."

"Thanks." I said with a grin before I cocked my head and continued "So...round two?"

"Oh hell yes, this is much more interesting than just doing katas." Zoro said with an answering smirk.

As we went back to our starting positions, I heard Johnny mutter to Yosaku from their observation spots on the gunnery deck "Think we could take him if we tag teamed him?"

Yosaku made that sound that usually goes with shrugging one's shoulders but I didn't have time to glance at them before Zoro bore down on me with all of the inevitability of a freight train and I had more important things to worry about.

Time Skip: After Dinner.

I had not gotten out of my training with Zoro unscathed. Once he got used to fighting someone who could change size at will he got VERY good at keeping me on the defensive. I got a good workout of both my Observation and Armament Haki as he showed me why the Santoryu user was Luffy's Second in Command. Even with a Zoan's above average durability and recovery rate I was still probably going to have a few bruises remaining in the morning. Wouldn't stop me from sparring with someone again, that someone might even be Zoro once more.

But right now wasn't about the advancement of my skills. Rather, it was time to begin teaching the others about Haki. Everyone including Luffy were sitting on barrels that we had placed at the stern of the ship, with me sitting on the railing, feet rapped around the bars to prevent an unfortunate slash embarrassing accident that would require one of the others to dive in after me. Taking a few moments to consider my words, I said "Alright guys, I told you before that I would teach you about Haki. Haki is...well, the best words I can use to describe it are 'Applied Bullshit'. It lets you detect what a person attacking you will do, increase the impact of your own attacks while at the same time allowing you to hit the intangible, and for the rare few, exert your dominance over others, usually by knocking them out."

"Uh, what's dominance mean?" Luffy asked.

"Power and influence over others." I explained. At Luffy's quiet 'ah' I continued my explanation and said "Haki is split apart into three main categories: Observation, Armament, and Conqueror's. The first two anyone can learn but the third you have to be born with to use it." Nodding at Luffy, I said "I _think_ Luffy might have that last one. Not only is he a D, which are said to be the enemies of the gods, his goal is to be the King of the Pirates, and it would make sense that someone with that kind of ambition would have it." 'Not to mention it would make sense for the main character to have it.' I thought to myself.

"Shishishi." Luffy laughed with a grin as the others glanced at him considering.

Gathering everyone's attention again, I said "I'll go over Conqueror's a little more with you at a later time Luffy, but for now I'll focus on the other two. Observation is first and its uses are many. You can use it to sense others if they are hidden from your other senses or too far away to detect normally, sense a person's emotional state, predict an opponent's moves shortly before they make them, and true masters can see up to a full minute into the future, though only in snippets for that. It's also possible for two Observation users to communicate semi telepathically thanks to the emotion sensing, kind of like how people who have worked together for a long time don't need to actually speak to have a conversation with each other."

"On the flip side of the Haki coin we have Armament Haki. As the name suggests, its primary purpose is to defend the user. There are two stages, the first forms an invisible shield around what's being protected while the second, stronger form turns the effected object black." I held up my right fist in demonstration and a moment later it was gleaming black. Dropping both the technique and my fist, I continued "Armament Haki is more than a shield though, it's also a weapon. For starters, Armament Haki negates Devil Fruit abilities if those abilities alters the user's body. For instance, say you're fighting a guy that can turn into, oh I don't know, let's go with gelatin. A normal hit wouldn't affect the guy because his body would just turn into gelatin when hit. However, use Armament in your strikes and it would be just like hitting a normal person. And it doesn't have to be a body part doing the striking either, if you're using a weapon like a sword you can imbue your Haki into it. Most higher class swordsmen do so as a matter of course in order to prevent chip damage or outright shattering of their blades in combat."

Zoro's hand drifted over his sword hilts at that and his gaze turned more intent. Nodding my head to Zoro, I said "In fact, there's something called a Black Sword/Blade. It's where a person has used Haki so often with their weapon that it has become permanently black. If you guys see someone with one of these swords before you hit the second half of the Grand Line my advice is to run like hell away from the user if they're not focused on you."

"A-and if they ARE focused on us?" Usopp asked, shakily raising his hand like a student in class.

I gave him a grim smile and said "Then you should promptly bend over and kiss your ass goodbye, though chances are that if you wait a moment you won't actually have to bend over to do so."

Usopp turned a pasty white and let out a terrified wheeze. Johnny and Yosaku both let out loud gulps while Nami had sweat start to form on their brow. Meanwhile Zoro was contemplative while Luffy simply gave a single nod to show that he understood.

"One last thing, actually make that two. First, an advanced user of Armament Haki can create a shield of the stuff a short distance away from the user's body without a medium. Second, there is another, much harder technique, where you can _push_ your Haki into another object and destroy it from the inside."

"COOL!" Usopp and Luffy shouted, stars in their eyes.

"That depends entirely on what you use that trick on. I've seen what a human body exploding looks like, and you're going to need more than a mop to clean THAT mess up." I said with a dark smirk.

Four out of the five people in front of me turned a decidedly unhealthy green at the mental image I just gave them and even Zoro looked slightly disturbed. Shaking his head to clear that image, the Santoryu user said "So what do we need to do to learn these techniques?"

"Well I'm going to get you started on Observation Haki first. The ability to detect an attack means that you have a greater chance to avoid it. After all, the saying's never block an attack if you can dodge it. That and I think I can give you guys a head start on learning Observation if you're willing to trust me a little."

"Why would we need to trust you?" Nami asked suddenly suspicious.

I let out a shrug and said "I couldn't really do this for myself because I'd have no way to end it but I think that if I put you all into a light hypnotic trance then I can make it easier for you guys to use Observation Haki the first time. After that it'd just be a matter of practice."

Nami crossed her arms with a frown and said "You don't actually expect me to allow you to hypnotize me do you? Who knows what you'd do with a beautiful girl like me under your control?"

I shrugged again and said "Then I guess you don't mind spending a few months sitting still meditating or trying to dodge someone attacking you with a blindfold on."

"Er, well..." Nami said, eyes shifting side to side before she sighed and said "Fine. BUT! I want you to record this so that way I know that nothing fishy happened!"

"Fine by me." I said with a shrug as I hopped off the railing and put my phone against the wall of the kitchen so that way it wouldn't fall overboard. Once it was recording, I retook my position on the railing and said "Alright guys, since I don't have a giant spiral you all can stare at we're going to have to bring you into trances the longer way. We're going to be doing a visualization exercise now. I want you all to focus on the ocean behind me, more specifically, the horizon where the sky meets the water. Now, picture your thoughts as sail boats, with you as the docks. Begin taking deep breaths. Every exhale pushes another thought boat from the dock and out to sea until they are no longer visible over the horizon and the dock is empty."

It took a few minutes, and I repeated myself a few times, but eventually even Nami and Usopp seemed to have emptied their heads of all thought. Nodding, I said "Gooood, now, following thought, with every deep exhale, send your senses away until only the sound of my voice remains. Breathe In, the sails of Touch are unfurling, Breathe Out, sending Touch away...Breathe In, the sails of Smell are unfurling, Breathe Out, sending Smell away...Breathe In, the sails of Taste are now lowered, Breathe Out, sending Taste on its way...Breathe In, Sight is preparing to depart, Breathe Out, there it goes, on its voyage...Breathe In, Hearing is making ready for its own departure, but unlike the others, there is a line still attached to the dock, Breathe Out, Hearing has set sail, but the line to the dock extends as it travels, allowing you to still hear my voice even as every other sound fades away..."

Once they could only hear my voice, I said ""Observational Haki transcends the normal senses, and everyone experiences it just that little bit differently. For some, it is sight beyond sight, for others, hearing beyond hearing. Your five senses have left you, leaving only darkness around you, but that does not mean that the world outside of that darkness has ceased to exist. Push through the darkness until you can once more detect things around you. When you do, make two thumbs up."

All of their brows furrowed to varying degrees as they did as told. Unsurprisingly given how good she was at detecting changes in weather patterns, Nami was the first to move her hands into the gesture, taking only thirty seconds to do so. Usopp was next, the Sniper's scrunched up face relaxing around fifty seconds in as he fisted his hands with raised thumbs. Zoro and Luffy were both within a minute of the Long Nose. Finally, Johnny and Yosaku made the gesture at around the three minute mark.

Nodding to myself, I said "Alright guys we've got the hardest part done, you've broken the barrier to Observe the world. When you wake up, I want you to remember the feeling you got when you did so. But for now, it's time for your Sense boats to return to Port. This time, every time you breathe in a wind blows a ship back to the dock to be secured. Breathe Out, Hearing is spotted on the horizon coming back home, Breathe In, it quickly comes back to the dock, attaching its lines to it, once more allowing you to hear the world around you...Breathe Out, Sight has returned once more, Breathe In, it is brought in to dock...Breathe Out, Taste has returned as well, Breathe In, it is soon moored alongside the other two...Breathe Out, Smell was trailing just behind its Sister Ship Taste, Breathe In, Smell has docked beside its Sister...Breathe Out, Touch has had the longest to sail away, but now it has finally returned home, Breathe In, it pulls into the dock, lines are cast to anchor points and finally the entire fleet is back where it belongs...Now that your senses have returned to you, I want you to once more try and use Observation Haki, give me a single thumb's up when you do so."

Nami and Usopp immediately gave a thumb's up, rapidly followed by Zoro and Luffy a few seconds in. It took Johnny and Yosaku about six seconds but they too soon had their thumbs up. Nodding, I said "Alright guys, remember to keep how you pierced the darkness in mind, able to recall perfectly how you did so as you come out of your trance, which will happen when I snap my fingers in three, two, one." SNAP!

As one, the five all twitched back to awareness and began blinking their eyes a few times. Shaking his head, Usopp said "Man, that felt weird."

"You were aware during it?" I asked mildly curious.

"Vaguely." Usopp said, making a wiggling so-so motion with his hand.

I hummed then shrugged and said "Probably because I didn't specify whether to forget or remember the session I guess."

"I still want to see that recording." Nami said as she got off of her barrel and moved to where the phone was resting against the wall.

Rolling my eyes, I said "Geeze, it's like you don't trust me."

"Don't take it personally, I don't think she actually trusts anyone." Usopp said.

Nami snorted and said "I do too trust people, just not you guys THAT much."

"Fair enough." Usopp said before he seemed to turn his focus inwards. A moment later, he let out a startled "WHOA!" and fell back off of his barrel.

"Usopp! Are you alright?! What happened?!" Luffy asked in concern.

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine. I just tried using Observation Haki on the surrounding area and was surprised by what I sensed." Usopp said as he quickly got up and ran to look over the Merry's railing.

Seeing his actions, I smirked and said "Picked up on the literal ocean's worth of microscopic life forms in the water underneath us didn't you?"

Usopp nodded strongly and said in an awed voice "I had no idea there was so many tiny things hanging around that we couldn't see!"

"Yeah, it can be a bit overwhelming at first I'll admit, but training will allow you to ignore all of those signals you're receiving in favor of all of the ones that matter on the human scale of things." I said with a nod. It really had been quite overwhelming that first time I got Haki working and was swarmed by thousands of soft voices that gathered together to make it seem like I was in a rock concert.

Nami frowned for a moment before she paused the recording and closed her eyes as she focused. A moment later, she gasped and said "Oh, that's beautiful!"

The others soon followed the two's examples and various exclamations were given, from Zoro's grunt of vague interest to Luffy's excited chattering with Johnny and Yosaku in the middle. Once they had gotten over their excitement, Zoro grunted again and asked "So now what?"

"Now? We practice." I said. Hopping off the railing, I took my phone back from Nami and began making my way below decks as I said "Come on, let's see if we've got a beach ball or something similar in storage we can roll to each other while blindfolded. If not, we can roll a cannon ball amongst each other."

"Right, because that's not dangerous at all." Nami muttered even as she and the others followed me below decks. As a matter of fact, it turned out that there WAS a beach ball for us to use.

Time Skip: The Next Morning, Third Story Deck Of The Baratie

Sometime between after Luffy and I had talked with Zeff and this morning a couple of tarps had been put up to cover the hole in the wall. I now had those two set on the floor of the deck and the inside of the room, kept in place by some of Zeff's books and various nick nacks as I studied the hole. Said head chef was lounging in a chair on one side of the deck while on the other was all of the lumber and tools I would need for the job. Pouring himself a cup of freshly squeezed orange juice from a pitcher he had brought with him, Zeff said "Alright Carpenter, let's see these Construction Skills you spoke of."

"Right." I said with a nod before I cocked my head and said "First things first, need to pull the damaged boards off, preferably without widening the nail holes too much, then replace the brace, oh wait, that's three supports there, that'll be tricky, going to have to pry up some of the floor boards as well to get to those, will need to be extra careful doing that. Everything else is just cutting the boards to the right shape and attaching them to the nondamaged sections."

Glancing over to Zeff, I said "Give me about two hours."

"Hmph, very well, get started." Zeff said gruffly.

I nodded and picked up the hammer and a wonder bar (mini crowbar) and began lightly tapping the bent end into the place where the top damaged board met the still good brace on the right side of the hole. Once I had it in far enough I used small taps of the hammer to carefully pry it loose, twisting the board on its x axis once it was separated enough to easily pry the nails out of their holes without putting any more damage on the wood then what was made when the board was first nailed in. Spend a few moments hammering the nails down so no one could get hurt stepping on them then set the board down to repeat with the next one below that.

As I put the last board down, Zeff said "You know, if you're going to take your time like that for everything, you won't finish in two hours."

"Would you rather I did MORE damage?" I asked before I moved over to the floor boards and began carefully prying them up. As I got the first one up, I said "Right now, I'm working on avoiding damaging the already aged parts of the floor and wall. Once I've got the new braces in I can pick up the pace since the new wood will be tougher."

"Hmph, I suppose you know what you're talking about." Zeff said boredly.

"Yep." I said with a slight nod. Once I had a row of floor boards up, I had enough room to work on the braces. Sawing the broken ends off at both the top and the bottom, I cut the new braces to the proper heights before I attached them to the old brace ends with a couple of four hole straight connector plates on either end, pre drilling them with a small hand drill and using one inch screws on the two by fours to make sure I didn't collide the screws on one side with the other. Once all three braces were in and the floor boards replaced, I took a moment to have my own drink of the orange juice and said "Alright, that's the hard part done. Now I just need to cut the siding to the right lengths and set them in place."

Zeff merely grunted at that and I let out a half snort half huff at his gruff manner before I drained my glass and got back to it. For the braces, I had used the tape measure provided. I had gravity working with me for those though so for the side to side measurements I pulled out my phone and began using the Measure app I had on it. Not only would the phone not sag or waver thanks to gravity, it allowed me to store the measurements I took.

As I quickly got all of the numbers I would need, Zeff said "That's a rather interesting device you've got there. I don't believe I've ever seen anything like it..."

"I'd be very surprised if you had." I said, leaving it at that. Zeff let out another grunt but didn't push the topic further. I cut all of the boards in one go, numbering them as I went. Once that was done, I slotted them into place on the wall, using the small hand drill to predrill holes in them as I went. Once they were all in place it was a simple matter of hammering the nails in and I was done.

A quick check of the time had me smirking at Zeff and I said "One hour and forty eight minutes. And all that's left is the waterproof paint."

"Hmph, well come on then, I'll show you where it's kept and you can finish." Zeff said, getting out of his chair and stretching before stomping off down the deck.

"Righto!" I said, being deliberately chipper to counter his surliness. After all, the hard part was already done.

Time Skip: That Evening

Usopp and I were laying prone on either side of the Merry's Kitchen roof. Held in Usopp's hands was one of the two rifles I had 'won' from the Bloody Path Pirates while I was using my Battlescout, sans laser and rifling attachments for this one. We were sighting a twelve unit pyramid of old cans on Merry's figurehead that the chefs of the Baratie had donated for us, the cans having lost their use from developing rust and small holes that leaked when filled. Apparently, one or two of the chefs of the Baratie usually did the same thing we did and use unusable cans for target practice.

Usopp had the cloth cover of the gun folded to cover the gun barrel rather than the flintlock and trigger areas. There was a loading gap on the right side of the barrel to place a musket ball and powder combo cartridge straight into the back of the barrel that opened up when you pushed the trigger guard away from the trigger like one of the old style repeating rifles in my old world. Closing the mechanism after loading it Usopp said "I can't believe you talked me into trying one of these things."

"Slingshots are all well and good as a special weapon but that one in your pouch isn't very intimidating to others until they've seen you use it or you've gotten infamous for using it. If you want to REALLY make someone piss their pants right at the start, have a gun ready that you can have pointed in their face." I said as I pumped the Battlescout once, held my breath, and then fired.

The first can was knocked off of the pyramid, hanging from the figurehead by the string attached to its bottom for easy recovery and a hole in the right side a couple of centimeters from the red line half of the cans had marked on them, the others marked blue. Usopp sighed and said "Fair enough I guess." As he fired and the next can fell off, his shot having hit the top right due to recoil, he side eyed me and said "And I think if you had said that earlier instead of making that bet for the week's chores I would have agreed sooner."

I shrugged as I pumped the Battlescout and looked down my sights as I said "Maybe, but chores are boring."

The third can jumped off of the pyramid and swung from the end of its line and Usopp chuckled as he said "You're not wrong there." His next shot was much closer to the center of the can and he sighed as he said "Getting used to the recoil of this thing is a pain though."

"That's why we practice." I said, pumping the Battlescout and firing.

Usopp scoffed and as another can jumped into the sky before bungie jumping said "Please, I've fired that thing and it barely twitched when I pulled the trigger."

Pumping then firing, I said "True enough, but I've shot other firearms than just this one before back home and they had a bigger kick." Skeet shooting at Camp Daniels and firing blanks from a hunting rifle at deer foam targets for a couple of weeks at Camp Coker had been a couple of highlights in my time with Boy Scout Troop 305.

Usopp merely hummed at that and put in his next cartridge and fired. A moment later he let out a triumphant "HA!" As he middled his latest can and said "Finally!"

"Good job, see if you can keep it up." I said as my next shot hit the ninth can, rather high but still on the line.

"Oh that'll be easy now that I've got the hang of this." Usopp bragged as he reloaded and fired. Sure enough, the tenth can was middled as it was shot off the figure head.

We each fired one last shot before we got up and made our way over to the figure head. Scrabbling up in lemur mode, I pulled the cans up by their strings and set them down in two groups. After studying where each shot had landed in relation to the aiming lines I tsked and said "Looks like you beat me by one shot."

"Yes!" Usopp said, pumping his right fist with a grin.

"Yeah, yeah." I said mock grudgingly with a sigh before I said "Well, I'd ask if you wanted to do best two out of three but there were only so many bullet cartridges on that bastard I killed so I think we have to settle for one round."

"Well I don't mind using my slingshot if you want to go more rounds." Usopp said with an eager grin.

"Ha! Yeah, how about no?" I said with a shake of my head.

Usopp started snickering as we brought the cans down into the storage hold for future use.

Time Skip: Three Days After Arrival To Baratie

Usopp and I were in the area he had claimed as a workshop working on a new mixture for his exploding stars, using my phone's access to the internet to make a mix of chemicals that Usopp was already calling his Hellfire Star. He may or may not have started cackling like an evil genius as the list was composed. Given that _thermite_ was one of the components, I felt like letting out a cackle of my own once or twice.

However, our science lab time was cut short when Usopp suddenly looked up from the chemicals he was mixing with an inquisitive hum.

"What is it Usopp?" I asked with a questioning frown.

"I'm picking up something large coming towards the restaurant, but the people on it feel _really_ weak, and not in the strength sense, more like on death's doorstep kind of weak." Usopp said. The kid began storing the chemicals we were working with as he said "I'm going to go see what's going on, something tells me I don't want to be in the dark about this."

"Considering that this world operates on Manga/Anime Logic, that's probably the right call." I said in agreement as I helped him before the two of us headed above decks, walking through the thick fog towards the restaurant to see what was going on. Something told me that Luffy's month of working for Zeff was about to be cut rather short.

END

Author's Notes: This one went MUCH faster than Tailor's. I guess it helped to have a format already. High Winds is up next.


	7. Chapter 7

7\. A Frog Sitting On The Lip Of A Well

Story Start: Baratie

Usopp and I picked up Zoro on our way off the Merry and the trio of us filed into the dining hall of the Baratie. As we filed in, we were greeted by the sight of Gin coming in with a large man's arm over his shoulders saying "Please, feed him! We have money this time!"

"Am I the only one not liking what their Observation Haki is telling them about that big guy?" Usopp asked the pair of us.

"It's not just you, I can practically taste the treachery he's exuding." I said with a frown, pulling my Battlescout off of my back and pumping it once before pointing the barrel at the floor.

Zoro's hands tightened on the hilts of his swords even as he grinned and said "Well I personally welcome a good fight."

"You would." Usopp and I said together. We traded a glance with each other then turned our focus back forward as Patty began going on about that being Krieg and how he could never be trusted and to call the Marines since they'd never get a better chance to catch the bastard. He was interrupted by Sanji kicking him out of the way, a plate of food in his hand.

Once placed on the floor in front of him, Krieg fell on the food eagerly. I took advantage of his distraction to slip closer, though at an angle, something Zoro mimicked a moment later, though he went straight. Usopp meanwhile made for the stairs, pulling out his slingshot as he did so. Luffy noticed us shifting forwards and, idiot savant that he was in all things battle related moved to be in a more forward position rather than off to the side as well.

The moment Krieg was done eating, he stood up and moved to lariat Sanji. Before he could touch the blond cook I snapped the barrel of my Battlescout up and pulled the trigger. My shot took Krieg in the left pectoral and he grunted in surprise from the shot. The quick instant of pause that my shot created allowed Sanji to quickly jump backwards avoiding the Lariat and the next instant Luffy nailed the man with a stretching punch to the face. Krieg fell back on his rear clutching at his face in pain as Luffy pulled his fist back and said "That's not very nice, attacking the person who just fed you."

"You god damned brat!" Krieg roared out as he sprung back to his feet. He gave a flex of his body and his clothes were shredded revealing him in gold colored armor that made him look much more bulky than a moment ago.

I blink in stupefied shock and asked "How the hell-?" At least now I knew why my shot had only caused him to pause for a moment rather than act like he had been shot, rather than get a puncture wound he had probably only felt a slight shock when his golden armor took the shot for him.

Krieg, asshole that he was, didn't bother telling me how he had managed that bit of anime bullshitery. Instead, he pulled a pair of pistols out and his shoulder pauldrons and two armor panels at his ribs popped open revealing multiple gun barrels. An instant later, Krieg cut loose on Luffy who took all of the shots directly to the chest. Krieg's smirk of satisfaction fell at the same time Luffy's own smug smirk appeared as our captain let out a small "Heh" before flexing and shooting the bullets back at Krieg as he shouted "THAT WON'T WORK ON ME!"

Eyes widening, I shouted "Hit the deck!" The next instant, the bullets ricocheted off of Krieg's armor and everyone in the dining area (even me) dropped to the floor, Usopp letting out a squawk of fear as he jumped up and did a split to avoid a bullet that almost got him in the unmentionables.

Springing up to my feet with a snarl, I said "Right then, EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT GET OUT OF HERE!"

The customers were more than willing to follow that order, more than one letting out an (in my opinion) pointless scream as they all ran out the back. In order to make sure Krieg didn't take a pot shot at any of their backs, I shifted into Zaboomafoo and leapt across the couple of tables seperating us, putting my Battlescout on my back as I went. My movement grabbed Krieg and Gin's attention but by that time I was already bounding off of the last table and coming in high. Flipping in midair, I shifted into my half and half form and landed on Krieg's shoulders before pushing off into a twisting back flip. As Krieg stumbled backwards, I shifted back into Zaboomafoo and landed on Luffy's shoulders even as he slammed a palm strike into Krieg's chest plate throwing him out of the double doors.

Turning my gaze on Gin, I redrew my Battlescout and pumped it as I said "Now to deal with your treacherous ass. Sanji gave you food when you were starving and how do you repay him? By bringing your leader here to attack this ship."

"I swear he promised me he wouldn't attack anyone!" Gin said, quickly standing up with his hands raised.

"And you actually believed him?!" Carne asked incredulously.

Before Gin could respond to that, Krieg let out a roar and came charging back through the doors with rage in his eyes. Swinging my barrel towards him, I aimed low and shot his left knee. Since Krieg was a big enough idiot not to have any armor plating on his legs there wasn't anything to stop the round and he went down with a roar of pain and an equally loud clatter of armor.

I pumped the Battlescout again but before I could finally do the smart thing and aim for the Bastard's head, Luffy reached up and pushed my weapon downwards as he said "That's enough Matt, leave him to me. Captains fight Captains!"

I matched Luffy's stern gaze with my much calmer one for a moment before I shrugged and hopped off of his shoulder, turning back into my human form once in the air and once I had fired the prepared shot out of an open window put my Battlescout back into its holster on my back, making a 'he's all yours' gesture towards Krieg with my hands.

Luffy's stern look turned into a grin as he stepped forward only to pause as Zeff's voice called out "Now, now, let's not all be so hasty."

As we all watched Zeff come down the stairs with a bag as big as he was and make his way over to the entrance, Krieg forced himself back onto his feet, with his weight kept on his right leg. As he walked, the Grand Line veteran continued "After all, should you really be getting in a fight with the state of your ship and your crew, Don Krieg, defeated warrior of the Grand Line?"

As Zeff set the bag down, all of the chefs stared in shock, Carne saying "No way...even the Ruler of the East Blue couldn't make it there?"

"I'm not surprised." I said, and everyone in the room turned their attention to me as I crossed my arms and said "Disregarding the fact that this moron doesn't have any armor on his legs or a helmet to protect his face making him vulnerable to accurate weapons fire, trying to keep an armada of fifty ships together in that meteorological nut house of an ocean? Hell, were you even able to get them all past Reverse Mountain without crashing a dozen or so against each other as they went through the choke point? You would have needed Den Den Mushi on each ship for coordination, and most likely your own Adult to communicate through the Red Line. Course, that's not taking into account all of the currents merging into one that your navigators would have to deal with." I then grinned viciously and finished "And let's not forget the giant ass Island Whale that's been hanging around the Twin Capes for the last fifty years. Going ten thousand feet downhill with ships as large as yours? That's a lot of speed, would have been pretty hard to avoid something that big with your giant ships." I then cocked my head as I said "Also, I sure hope you had Log Poses and weren't relying on plain old compasses to navigate that magnetic hodgepodge."

Gin clenched his eyes shut and put his hand over them, and Krieg gritted his teeth angrily as I spoke. When Gin's hand fell from his eyes and his gaze turned downwards and Krieg let out actual steam from his nostrils at the last of my little speech, I openly stared and asked "Are you fraking kidding me? You tried to navigate the Grand Line without Log Poses?!"

Zeff though seemed nonchalant as he said "The Grand Line tends to be the harshest with those who are overconfident and believe that it is like the Blues in any way other than the fact that it is an ocean made out of water." Gesturing at the bag of food, he continued "There is enough food in there for your men. I suggest you hurry and take it back to your ship before anymore dies. But remember, just because this is a restaurant doesn't mean that the staff doesn't know how to fight." He then pointedly looked down at Krieg's left knee and said "And you might also want to have that leg looked at by whatever passes for a doctor on your ship."

"Head Chef Zeff, you can't seriously be willing to feed the rest of these pirates?! Their Captain already attacked Sanji when he fed him and they'll do the exact same thing!" One of the other chefs cried out.

"Zeff?" Krieg asked with narrowed eyes before they widened as he said "You're Red Shoes Zeff!"

"That was my epitaph yes, what of it?" Zeff asked, his own eyes narrowing the smallest of fractions.

"Hmph, 'Red Shoes' Zeff. So you're alive. A unique Pirate, the Captain-Cook." Krieg said, a little bit of sweat coming down his face to mix with the blood from Luffy's punch to the face.

"So what if I'm alive. Now I'm a chef exclusively. What's it to you?" Zeff asked.

Krieg let out a bark of laughter as he said "Ha! You say it like it was a choice. But did you CHOOSE to be a cook...or was being a pirate too much for you? Looks like your red shoes days are behind you."

Krieg gave his own pointed look at Zeff's peg leg before he looked back up at his face with a smirk and said "'Red Shoes' Zeff...master of the deadly kick, who never used his hands in battle. That awesome leg strength could smash bedrock and even leave footprints in steel. The blood of your enemies dyed your shoes hence your unusual nickname. They say you died at sea. I see you didn't lose your life...but you did lose one of your precious legs."

Zeff raised his hands up and said "I can't fight anymore, but I can cook, long as I have these two hands." He lowered his hands and his eyelids as he asked "What are you getting at? Spit it out."

Now grinning, Krieg said "Red Shoes Zeff...You once sailed that devil's nest, the Grand Line. But you returned unscathed. You kept a record of that voyage, a whole year's log. GIVE ME YOUR LOG-BOOK!"

"So Matt was right, you DID go to the Grand Line!" Luffy said with a grin.

Zeff side eyed Luffy and allowed a brief grin on his face as he said "Aye, I did." His eyes then turned forward and he frowned at Krieg as he said "My logbook, eh? Yes, I still have it. But I won't give it to you. For me and the men who sailed with me, that logbook is a testament. I won't give it to the likes of you!"

"**Then I'll take it from you!**" Krieg declared, clenching his fist as he continued "It's true that I didn't succeed on the Grand Line! But I am Don Krieg, the MIGHTIEST OF ALL! Weaklings do well to shun that dark route. But I had plenty of strength! Ships and Men! Ambition! The only thing I lacked was KNOWLEDGE! That's what stopped me! I just didn't know enough. I'll have that log...and this ship, too!" Pounding his fist onto his armor chest plate, he continued "I'll take Zeff's log, assemble another armada...capture the One Piece and lord it over this great Age of Pirates as the PIRATE KING!"

I couldn't help it, I threw my head back and hollered with laughter. As everyone around me stared in surprise, confusion, and in Krieg's case, rage, I wrapped my arms around my stomach and laughed hard enough I cried a little.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY YOU IMPUDENT BUG!" Krieg roared.

I gave one last chuckle before I rolled my head to the side and looked at Krieg as I said "That would be you. You assume that a logbook covering ONE ship's journey of a year in the first half of the Grand Line will help you. IT WON'T. You think that the second half of the Grand Line is just like the first. IT'S _**WORSE**_. You think building another Armada, relying on quantity instead of _quality_ will help you. IT **WON'T**. You think that you can stand up to any of the Yonko. YOU _**CAN'T**_. You think that you can take on the full might of the Marines. YOU _**CAN'T**_."

Turning my head to its proper orientation, my eyes turned hard as I said "You who hides behind armor, manpower, and trickery could never hope to stand at the top. You claim to have 'Ambition', but you're no Conqueror, merely a frog that decided he was too large for the well he was born in." I then smirked and said "But what happened when you left that well? You got attacked by a hawk that knocked your slimy ass back into the well where you belong."

"YOU IMPUDENT BUG, I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT I CAN DO!" Krieg yelled, all of his guns coming back out as he fired on me. The storm of bullets were all on point, each one hitting my chest...and _bouncing_ off of my Armament Haki'd bullet proof vest to drop to the floor with a clatter.

As everyone stared in stunned surprise, I cocked my head and said "You're bullets are just like you_ Don_. Weak." Idly looking down and brushing a bit of lint off of my vest I continued "I think I know why you rely on twelve barrels, it's because you know that a single bullet won't be enough when you fire it."

Looking back up with a grin fit to grace the Joker's lips, I continued "You can't even handle a guy who had his Zoan devil fruit and gun for six months and you think you can take on Marine Admirals who have had their Logias for years? Don't make me laugh. Oh wait, too late for that."

Beads of sweat went down Krieg's face before he put on a facade of nonchalance. Grabbing the bag of food, he put it over his shoulder and said "Now listen carefully, all of you. I'll give you a chance. I'm taking this food to the men on my ship. Then I'm coming back. Anyone who doesn't want to die had better be gone when I return. All I want is the Captain's Log and the ship." Turning around and beginning to walk out, while trying to hide the limp of his left leg, he continued "But if you're eager to die...wait for me. I'll bury you at sea. It's your choice."

As he left, I snorted and said "See what I mean, hiding behind manpower."

"Indeed Carpenter." Zeff said with an upward twitch of his lips.

As he came to stand by our sides Sanji said "Thanks." When I gave a hum of confusion, he said "For keeping Krieg from hitting me earlier."

"Oh that, you're welcome." I said with a quick shrug before I turned to look back at the stairs as Usopp said "Man Matt, you've really got giant brass balls don't you?"

I snorted and said "Usopp, don't tempt me to play AC/DC just before a fight, I doubt no one else will appreciate it."

Usopp spitted a bit as he tried to hold back a laugh before failing. Luffy let out a laugh of his own while Zoro rolled his eyes. All of the chefs looked confused, as did Gin who was still kneeling on the floor.

After a moment, Gin discarded his confusion and turned his head down again as he said "Sanji, forgive me! I didn't think he would do this! I...I..."

"It's not all your fault, Swabby." Zeff said, causing Gin to look up and let out a confused "Huh?"

As the chefs also looked at him, the old Captain said "The cooks helped to bring this on us, as well."

"Chef! Are you siding with Sanji? You crazy?!" Patty asked.

"He's the guy who started all this trouble!" Another chef said quickly followed by another that said "Sanji wants to destroy your precious restaurant!" Turning to point accusingly at Sanji, he continued "Don't you Sanji?! You'd do anything to be the head chef!"

"Either that or you're insane. Which is it?!" Another demanded.

"SHUT UP, YOU EGGPLANTS!" Zeff yelled, causing all of them to fall silent as Zeff continued "Has any of you ever really been hungry before? Have you gone for days without food and water on the high seas? Do you have any idea what agony that is?!" As Zeff spoke, Sanji lowered his head and lit a cigarette, his visible eye shadowed.

"Huh? So what, Chef?" Patty asked.

"If you're gonna keep moaning then just head out the back door!" Zeff declared, pointing a thumb over his shoulder.

Patty's grip on his fork weapon that had mysteriously appeared in his hands at some point in the last couple of minutes tightened and he said "I'll stay and fight. I can't stand to let Krieg have his way."

The other chefs all held their own mysteriously appearing super sized utensil weapons as well as another said "Me neither! This restaurant is my home!"

"Yeah! I got nowhere else to go!" Another chef said.

"Are you guys crazy?! You won't be able to fight off the Don and all of his men once they recover!" Gin declared.

"I beg to differ. Especially since they have a Paramecia, a Zoan, one Santoryu user, and a Sniper on their side. Also, I'd just like to point out that the idiot has no lower armor or helmet. And I already showed how stupid THAT decision was." I said with a grin once more drawing my Battlescout in demonstration, a grin that Luffy matched with a clenched fist. Zoro's grin was a lot more blood thirsty as he gripped one of his swords. A glance at Usopp showed that his knees were shaking but he was still standing in his spot on the stairs, and he still had his slingshot in his right hand. Seeing me looking at him, he gave me a shaky thumb's up with his left.

Sanji let out a huff of amusement, causing a large smoke cloud to leave his mouth. Sitting down on a nearby table and crossing his left leg over his right knee, he took the cigarette out of his mouth as he said "Gin...Listen to me. As a cook, I consider it my duty to feed the hungry. But soon I'll be facing plunderers with full stomachs. So if I have to beat your mates to death, don't complain. If they try to take over this ship I'll slaughter them without mercy, and that goes for you, too. Got That?"

Gin let out a gulp and Patty let out a 'hmph' as he said "First you save 'em then you kill 'em? Good idea, Sanji."

"Be quiet, crap-cooker." Sanji retorted.

Luffy let out a quiet Shishishi at the byplay before he turned his gaze back to Gin and said "By the way, Gin..."

"Aye?" Gin asked, looking towards the rubber man.

"You said you didn't know anything about the Grand Line. But you've been there!"

Gin looked down again, clutching at his head with both hands as he said "I know nothing. It's all a crazy fog. Something happened on our seventh day out. But was it a dream or reality? It's all mixed up in my head. He appeared so suddenly...JUST...ONE...MAN. HOW COULD ONE MAN SCUPPER 50 SHIPS?!"

As everyone in the room bar me and Zeff expressed their shock at his words, I let out a soft "Huh, guess he got all of his fleet through Reverse Mountain in one piece after all. Maybe the Island Whale wasn't there at the time." I then cocked my head in confusion and asked "Then why were they so upset when I mentioned it?"

"Could be some of their ships were clipped when it came to investigate so many coming down the mountain at once. After all, present doesn't mean UNDAMAGED." Zeff offered nonchalantly.

"Good point." I said with a nod.

"Are you two just going to ignore the fact that Krieg's armada was destroyed by one man?!" Usopp asked angrily.

Both Zeff and I shrugged as I said "Consider the fact that Whitebeard, one of the Four Emperors can sink an entire island with his Tremor Tremor fruit then ask us that again."

Usopp let out a wheeze at that but everyone's attention was drawn back to Gin as he continued "Before we knew it our ships were sinking, one after the other! If that storm hadn't come up...he'd have sent the flagship to the bottom, too! I'm not sure how many ships survived...It was terrible...I can't believe it was real! I don't want to remember that man! THAT MAN WITH THE PIERCING HAWK EYES, EYES THAT COULD KILL WITH A GLANCE!"

"WHAT?!" Zoro asked, a vein bulging on his forehead and beads of sweat appearing.

Me though, I had an entirely different reaction as I said "Huh, you know, I had been speaking metaphorically when I mentioned a hawk kicking Krieg back into his well. I didn't think that you had LITERALLY run into one."

"Eh, what are you talking about Matt?" Luffy asked with a cocked head.

It was Zeff that answered though as he said "It had to be HIM, had to be Hawk-Eye. You said his eyes were like a hawk's. That's proof enough. But what he did to your ships...It had to be **HIM**!"

"Um, could someone tell me who this Hawk-eye is?" Luffy asked with crossed arms and a pout.

"Dracule 'Hawk-Eye' Mihawk, one of the Seven Warlords of the Sea and the current holder of the title World's Greatest Swordsman." I said, trigger finger idly tapping at the plastic above said trigger on my Battlescout as it hung down by my right leg. My eyes narrowed in thought and I continued "I'm kind of surprised that he was so close to the entrance of Paradise to be honest."

"He's also the man I've been looking for. Johnny said he comes here." Zoro said.

"I SERIOUSLY doubt that." I said with a frown.

"Well, don't know about old "Hawk-eye"..," One chef started before the rest of the chefs continued

"...But 'Old Red-Eyes' was here."

"Aye, he drank so much wine his eyes turned red."

"Then the fool caught fire and exploded!"

"Yeah, what a sight."

Anger flashed in Zoro's eyes as he said "That sea snake! He lied to me!"

"Less lied, more got a couple of names mixed together I think." I said with a 'what can you do?' shrug.

Zoro let out a deep sigh and said "Yeah, I guess so."

"So he beat the whole armada. Did you do something to make him mad?" Sanji asked Gin.

"Not that I know of! He just attacked!" Gin said.

"Maybe you interrupted his nap." Zeff said.

"**That's not funny! He murdered my crewmates!**" Gin shouted.

"I don't think he was joking." I said, eyeing Zeff.

"I wasn't. That's the kind of place the Grand Line is." Zeff said.

"Sounds fun, a place where anything can happen!" Luffy said, literally shaking with excitement.

Usopp gave him an angry look and said "Please, for once think of the danger!"

Zoro grinned and said "Now I know where I have to go. To the Grand Line. That's where I'll find HIM!"

Sanji took a deep drag of his cigarette before blowing out the smoke cloud and said "You're fools. You'll both be killed as soon as you get there."

"Maybe." Zoro said with a shrug before he continued "But don't insult us. The day I decided to be the World's Greatest Swordsman I gave myself up for dead. Nobody calls me a fool but me. I have my reasons."

Luffy grinned and put a hand on his straw hat as he said "Me too. If I want to be the Pirate King then I can't let a silly thing like a dangerous ocean stop me. Plus, I made a promise on this hat to a very important person who's waiting for me there."

Sanji eyed them for a moment before he looked away with a mutter of "Stupid."

Zeff though let out an amused "Heh" before turning back to me with a raised eyebrow and asked "What about you Carpenter?"

"Me?" I asked with a grin, bringing my arm back up and bending my elbow so that the Battlescout rested upside down and pointing backwards on my shoulder as I said "I don't really have some great ambition to work at, I'm just here to enjoy the ride."

Zeff let out a hum at that but our attention was grabbed by Patty as he said "You lame brains! Do you realize what kind of trouble we're in!? Right out there, them sea-wolves are reviving themselves ABOARD PIRATE ADMIRAL DON KRIEG'S GALLEON! They're the most savage pirates in the Easter Seas! If you wanna dream, do it after this crisis is over!"

Punctuating his words, there was a massive roar outside as the Krieg Pirates celebrated there salvation.

We all tensed ready to repel them but before the Pirates could get off their ship my Observation Haki hollered a warning at me and two wind blades sliced right through the galleon, cutting it in thirds as easily as a knife slicing through butter. As the ship began breaking apart under its own weight now that it had no structural support, and throwing up massive waves as it sunk in the process, Usopp chocked on his own spit and said "Guys, there's someone out there, and he's getting closer!"

I ignored Zeff ordering the cooks to weigh the Baratie's anchor and instead turned my gaze and Observation Haki to where the wind blades came from and copied Usopp as I choked on my own spit as well. The figure now in my metaphorical sights had an absolutely Titanic presence about him. That combined with the sword slash had me widening my eyes as I said "Ah _hell_, he's here."

"Then it seems that my target has come to me." Zoro said with a blood thirsty grin.

Luffy though didn't care about that, instead running through the restaurant as he shouted "Forget about him! Nami, Johnny and Yosaku are still on the Merry!"

We all ran out to the entrance where Merry USED to be docked only to see the bounty hunter duo in the water struggling to swim aboard and no ship or navigator.

"Yosaku! Johnny! You Okay?! Where's our ship?! Where's Nami?!" Zoro shouted to them.

"Sorry Brother Zoro! They're gone! Sister Nami! She sailed off with all the treasure!" Johnny shouted.

"WHAT!" Zoro and Luffy roared while Usopp shouted "SHE TOOK THE SHIP!?"

Luffy quickly had the pair onto the deck and as the two bounty hunters explained what happened, I let out an angry scowl and my Observation Haki lanced out. A moment later, I locked onto Nami's signature. Snarl growing, I said "I've got her location!"

The others looked in the direction I was pointing and seeing how far the Going Merry already was Luffy looked at the bounty hunter duo and said "Yosaku! Johnny! Where's your ship!?"

"It's anchored nearby." The pair said in their odd synchronized way.

"Zoro! Usopp! Matt!" Luffy said, quickly turning towards us, the two dao sword users quickly rushing off to bring their ship over.

Zoro though raised his left hand up in a show of disinterest as he said "Forget her. Why go chasing after that little thief?'

"But what about the ship?! Kaya's ship?" Usopp asked angrily.

"Usopp's right Zoro, without that ship, we're not going to be able to last long in the Grand Line, and since she took all of the money we won't be able to buy a new one. If nothing else, we need to get the Going Merry back." I pointed out. I then crossed my arms with my scowl growing as I said "Clearly though, we're going to have to find a new navigator once we get the ship back. Shame, I actually liked her."

"NO! Nami's going to be our navigator and NOBODY ELSE!" Luffy said with a glare.

Zoro entered a staring contest with him for a few tense moments before he sighed and said "Fine, what a high maintenance captain."

Just then, Anime Timing came into play in the worst possible way. Just as Johnny and Yosaku reappeared on their ship, Mihawk finally got close enough in HIS to enter Zoro's Observation Haki's range reminding him of his presence. Seeing him stiffen and look in that direction, I sighed and hung my head as I said "Aw, _goddamn_ _it_!"

The next instant, Zoro was leaping across the field of debris, ignoring Usopp and Luffy's shouts to come back.

Heaving a sigh, I shifted my legs to have the best jumping ability and said "I'll go bring him back." Mostly to myself I continued "_Preferably with a lump on the head so he doesn't fight back._"

Luffy put his arm in front of me though as he said "No wait, don't interfere."

I gave my Captain an incredulous look and said "Are you kidding me? Nami's getting further and further away with our ship and there's NO WAY Zoro's ready to face the World's Greatest Swordsman yet."

"OI DON'T DISS BIG BRO ZORO!" Johnny and Yosaku shouted.

I gave them a flat look and said "Dracule Mihawk can slice mountains into itty bitty tiny grains of sand, can Zoro do that?"

The Bounty Hunter duo gave gulps that were loud enough for us to hear from ten feet away and they said "Withdrawn."

Turning my gaze back to Luffy, I said "Mihawk normally operates in the Grand Line Captain. There will be plenty of time for Zoro to get stronger then search him out further along the way of our voyage."

"Matt, ready or not, Zoro CAN'T let this opportunity pass." Luffy said seriously, his eyes sharp with focus. Even so, I still saw the speck-small glimmer of concern that Luffy was trying to hide in that gaze.

After a moment, I sighed and shifted my legs back to normal and said "Fine, but the others should get close so that way they can dive into the water to retrieve his body. Whether it's a live body or not, well, I guess we'll just have to see what kind of mood Mihawk's in."

Luffy's lips pursed as he nodded before he looked at Usopp and jerked his head at Johnny and Yosaku's ship. Usopp quickly hopped aboard and Luffy turned his gaze to the other two aboard and said seriously "Whatever happens, don't get in the way of Zoro's fight." The pair swallowed again but nodded then began carefully maneuvering their ship closer. As they drifted away, Luffy and I looked at where Mihawk was now standing in front of Zoro talking to him and Luffy asked "Not going with them?"

"Best to remove the temptation of diving after him myself. While I am trained as a lifeguard, now that I'm a Devil Fruit user if I dived in after someone there would only be two people who needed rescuing instead of one." I said, folding my arms as I watched Mihawk take off his cross necklace and reveal it to be a knife.

Luffy let out a hum at that but didn't say anything. We saw Zoro use his Oni Giri technique as an opener and we both winced when Mihawk stopped it cold, his arm not even bending as he held Zoro at bay with his small dagger at the point where Zoro's blades crossed. Frowning, I said "Oh, this will NOT end well." I knew it wouldn't before of course, but knowing and seeing were two very different things.

Luffy gritted his teeth and his hands grabbed the railing as he forced himself to stand still. Mihawk pushed Zoro back a little but Zoro started swinging his swords in a fast blur the moment he could move them again. Mihawk seemed to lazily move his little knife to block some swings, the rest he simply moved slightly to avoid even as he began to step backwards. A moment later, he was in front of a railing that he hopped on only to leap straight up a moment later as Zoro sliced straight through the railing with a downward cut an instant later.

Landing, Mihawk side stepped with a turn to avoid another of Zoro's downward swings, the santoryu user stumbling past and rolling. As he turned back around, I could see that he was exhausted from all of the frantic yet useless swinging of his swords.

Mihawk though seemed as unflappable as ever as he asked in a carrying tone of voice "What Drives you? Why do you fight so hard when you cannot win? You're a weakling..."

"OUR BROTHER'S NOT A WEAKLING, BUZZARD EYE!" Yosaku shouted at the same time Johnny yelled "I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON. THAT MAN IS..." The pair had a foot on the rim of their ship with their Dao's drawn.

Before they could actually interfere with the fight though, Luffy was suddenly there, no doubt warned by his Observation Haki what the pair planned. He grabbed the back of their shirts and yanked them back as he said "STOP! STAY OUT OF IT, YOSAKU AND JOHNNY!" Pushing them down and shifting his hands to on top of their heads, he continued "CONTROL YOURSELVES!"

Back on the Baratie, I turned my full attention back to the 'fight' and saw Zoro put his two hand held swords behind the one in his mouth, the sharp edges pointing at each other as he said "Tiger..." Leaping forward, he finished "HUNT!"

There was a massively disproportionally loud "SHUNK!" as Mihawk's knife entered Zoro's chest stopping him cold.

"BROTHER!" The bounty duo shouted in horror and my fists turned white as I resisted the urge to draw my Battlescout. Against a man of Mihawk's caliber it would have been worse than useless, I'd probably just get a wind blade for my trouble.

What was really concerning though was how Zoro wasn't stepping away. Mihawk seemed slightly surprised as he asked "Are you just going to let me pierce your heart? Why aren't you withdrawing?"

"I don't know why." Zoro said, not moving an inch as he continued with blood coming out of his mouth "I don't know why, but...if I withdrew even a step, I feel like those various important things such as pledges and promises in the past will be shattered, and I won't be able to come back to where I am now..."

"Yes, that's what defeat is about." Mihawk said.

Zoro let out a pained chuckle and said "Then, all the more reason I can't withdraw..."

"Even if you'll die?" Mihawk questioned.

"I'd rather die." Zoro said resolutely.

Mihawk was silent for a moment before he withdrew his knife, stepping back and putting its cover back on as he said "Kid! State your name."

Zoro moved his swords into a pinwheel formation and said "Roronoa Zoro."

Mihawk reached over his shoulder and said "I'll remember it." Drawing his sword, he continued "It's been a while since I've met one so brave. I will honor the Swordsman's Code and send you to your death with this Black Blade-the finest in the world."

"I appreciate it." Zorro said and as Mihawk took his stance started spinning the two swords in hands in opposite rotations. The amount of focus needed to keep those two from hitting each other or cutting into his hand while spinning them at high speeds was incredible but futile in the end.

Mihawk launched himself forward as he called out "Fall!"

The next instant, he was past Zoro whose two unnamed blades shattered and a blood spurted from a slash across his chest. Zoro dropped to a knee for a moment, discarding his now useless hilts and sheathing Wado Ichimonji. Then, he stood up and to my utter disbelief turned around with arms outstretched.

"What are you doing?" Mihawk asked in surprise.

Zoro grinned as he said "Scars on the back are a swordsman's shame..."

Mihawk matched his grin as he said "Well said." The next instant, he slashed Zoro's chest, and it was only my Observation Haki telling me that there was no killing intent that kept me from saying "SCREW LOGIC!" and try to shoot the yellow eyed bastard.

Somehow, I managed to hear Mihawk's soft "Don't be in such a hurry to die young warrior."

However, most of my attention was grabbed as Luffy yelled out "ZORO!" As Zoro fell into the ocean, Johnny and Yosaku quickly diving in after him, Luffy threw his arm forward hard enough it knocked his hat off (Which thankfully fell INSIDE the boat). His hand grabbed a piece of railing behind Mihawk and he rocketed forward with a cry of "DAMN YOU!"

"The young swordsman's crewmate. You did well to let him fight his own battle to the end!" Mihawk said and I briefly wondered how the hell he managed to get that all in as Luffy came flying at him before Mihawk easily side stepped Luffy's attack. Luffy crashed into the wood headfirst and his neck stretched as he struggled to get it out.

Not looking at him, Mihawk said "Don't worry." As Luffy finally got his head out and fell onto his back, he continued "I left him alive." At that moment, Johnny and Yosaku resurfaced with Zoro in between them and shouting "BROTHER! BROTHER! SPEAK TO US!"

"ZORO?!" Luffy shouted as well.

As the two got him aboard their ship with the help of Usopp, I cupped my hands and shouted "USOPP! GRAB THE FIRST AID KIT! CLEAN OFF THE SALT WATER, PUT IODINE ON AND AROUND THE WOUND TO DISINFECT, THEN SEW THE WOUND CLOSED AND WRAP HIM TIGHT WITH BANDAGE WRAP!"

"ON IT!" Usopp shouted back before darting into the small cabin, coming back with the bounty hunter duo's small first aid kit. (Something I forced them to buy from the Baratie's own stock of first aid equipment when I learned they didn't have anything more than bandages on board) Usopp quickly got to work on Zoro, doing as I told him to.

As Usopp worked, Mihawk decided to be a dramatic bastard. Crossing his arms, he called out **"My name is Dracule Mihawk! It's too soon for you to die. Discover yourself. See the world! And grow strong! However long it may take...I shall await you at the top. Strive with your whole heart and mind to best this blade, fierce one! Strive to surpass me, Roronoa Zoro!"**

From where I was standing, I heard Zeff ask "Why would Hawk-Eye say something like that?"

'Because he's found someone to be his successor.' I thought to myself with wide eyes, remembering the flash of approval Mihawk had felt when Zoro had told him that scars on the back were a swordsman's shame.

Mihawk though, wasn't done and turned to Luffy and asked "Lad, what's is your goal?"

"TO BE KING OF THE PIRATES!" Luffy declared and I felt a shimmer of what I just KNEW had to be his nascent Conqueror's Haki lightly pulse inside of him with my Observation Haki causing me to smirk.

Mihawk probably felt it as well given his grin as he said "You tread a perilous path. Even more perilous than trying to surpass me."

"I DON'T CARE! THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO BE!" Luffy said and there was another pulse of _FACT_ from him.

Zoro grabbed everyone's attention as he suddenly raised Wado Ichimonji up high and said "Lu-Luffy, were you worried? If I fail to become the World's Greatest Swordsman, you'll be disappointed, right!? **NEVER AGAIN! I WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN! FROM NOW TO THE DAY I BEAT HIM TO BECOME THE GREATEST SWRODSMAN...** (Mihawk's grin grew) _**I WILL NEVER LOSE AGAIN**_**! **GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT **KING OF THE PIRATES!?"**

Luffy smiled so hard his eyes closed as he said "SHISHISHI! NOT AT ALL!"

"Hm, they make a good team." Mihawk mused to himself before he turned around and made his way to his ship as he said "I hope to encounter you two again...someday."

His would be dramatic exit was ruined as Krieg leapt onto the piece of ship debris they were standing on as he said "Hey, Hawk-Eye! Didn't you come here for my head? For the head of Don Krieg, King of the Eastern Blue!?"

Mihawk barely deigned Krieg with a glance out of the side of his eye as he said "That was my intention. But I've had enough fun for now, so I shall head back home to take a nap."

Krieg cracked his neck handlessly as he said "You may have had enough, but I'm tired of getting beaten."

"D-Don?" One of his men asked, followed by another who asked "Why are you trying to keep him here?"

All of a sudden, all of Krieg's weapons were out and he shouted "Die before you leave!"

As he fired his weapons, Mihawk put a hand to the hilt of his large sword and said "You are indeed a slow learner." Mihawk swung his sword and the air pressure pulled the surrounding sea water up into a giant wave. Warned by his Observation Haki, Luffy grappled himself back onto the Baratie, grabbing the outside of the railing next to where Zeff was.

When the wave passed, Mihawk was gone and Krieg tsked as he said "Damn it, he escaped."

'He says that like he wouldn't have been turned into gold and pink mist in seconds.' I thought to myself before I focused again as Luffy shouted "Usopp! Set Sail!"

"Uh, Right, but what about Matt?!" Usopp shouted back.

"GO! I'll help him out here then we'll rejoin you!" I called even as I moved to stand next to where Luffy was.

"Alright then, Zoro and I will go after Nami! You and Matt get the cook to join us!" Usopp said before he threw Luffy's straw hat towards him and continued "And when we've got everybody together! WE'LL SAIL FOR THE GRAND LINE!"

Luffy stretched out his arm to grab his hat and once he had it on his head he said "RIGHT! LET'S DO IT!"

Here come the locusts." Sanji said and Luffy and I turned our gazes to where all of the Krieg Pirates were preparing to charge. Luffy grinned as he looked out at them and asked "Hey, Mister! If I chase those guys off...can I stop being chore boy?"

Zeff looked amused as he said "Sure kid, beat up the pirates and I'll call us even."

'Heh. Called it!' I thought to myself with a smirk. The prelude was finished. Now the main event was about to begin...

End

Author's Notes: SO. We finally get to what I consider the first split in these three 'branched path' stories. As a flightless Zoan, I couldn't travel across the ocean and so Nami got away...for now. Also, you guys have no idea how tempted I was as a writer to just have Zaboomafoo shoot Krieg in the head with his Battlescout and be done with it. Unfortunately, Luffy would have still been obligated to remain at the Baratie for a month if I did that so yeah... Anyways, see you guys next time!


	8. Chapter 8

8\. Buddy, Your Armor Isn't As Good As You Think It Is

Previously:

_Here come the locusts." Sanji said and Luffy and I turned our gazes to where all of the Krieg Pirates were preparing to charge. Luffy grinned as he looked out at them and asked "Hey, Mister! If I chase those guys off...can I stop being chore boy?"_

_Zeff looked amused as he said "Sure kid, beat up the pirates and I'll call us even."_

_'Heh. Called it!' I thought to myself with a smirk. The prelude was finished. Now the main event was about to begin..._

Now: Baratie

Carne and Patty quickly ran into the restaurant and then to the front where the fish head was. I raised an eyebrow as my Observation Haki tracked them but brought my attention back outside as Sanji said "At this rate, the ship will become a battlefield." Turning to one of the cooks, he continued "Go to the operating room and open up the fins."

"What? Open the fins? That's gonna give a foot hold to the enemy!" The chef said.

"No, Sanji's right. If you fight inside then the fight will inevitably wreck the interior of the ship. And while it's one thing for a wall to get a hole knocked out, we can't take the chance of your kitchen getting damaged. I had a look inside and those are _gas_ stoves you use, rupture the lines and we're going to have problems." I said with a frown.

The chef flinched at that but still looked at Zeff for confirmation. But at the Head Chef's nod he quickly sprinted back inside. A few moments later, a grinding sound came from below decks and the fins rose, pushing the closest Krieg pirates in the water away with the waves they generated as they came up before they stopped with a loud slam sound, a hole in the fin the perfect size to go around the small slip of a dock that was already extended past the ship's railing.

Luffy had stars in his eyes as he said "Oooh, that's amazing!"

"Yeah, pretty impressive, bet it makes steering a hassle when they're down though." I said with a nod.

"Oh, you have no idea." One of the chefs muttered earning nods from the others around him.

My lips twitched up at that before I looked at Luffy and said "Captain, if it's alright with you I'm going to move to the second floor and provide covering fire." I COULD help fight in close but even with the fins the water was a bit too close for my liking.

Luffy nodded and said "If that's what you want Matt."

Nodding, I shifted into my Were-Lemur form so that way I could easily vault up and over the second floor railing, shifting fully into Zaboomafoo when I landed so that way I would be a smaller target from any sharp shooters the Kriegs might have. Kneeling, I removed the shoulder stock for better angling but kept the rifling and laser sight on as I poked the barrel through a gap in the railing then pumped the gun four times. A moment to choose my targets among the pirates that were swimming to the edge of the fin, then I pulled the trigger.

Two hundred feet might not be all that impressive when you consider how sniper rifles can hit a target at least a mile away back in my world but when the bright yellow shot hit the target a hundred feet from the fin's edge right in the middle of his forehead instantly killing him it made all of his buddies recoil back in shocked horror.

When my second shot proved just as deadly, the pirates were quick to dive underwater to try and reach the cover the fin provided. If this had been the Caribbean with its clear water that tactic wouldn't have worked but sadly the water was clouded enough and the pirates dove deep enough for anything but lucky shots so I instead turned my gaze onto the lip of the fin.

The pirates didn't seem to want to come up though, not that I blamed them. A few moments later though Krieg yelled out "What are you cowards doing?! Just swarm them and shoot the bastard once you're close enough!"

Several more Krieg pirates began swimming over, diving under at what they assumed were safe distances to continue underwater to the fins, popping up for quick breathes of air when needed but most diving back under before I could get a clean shot off. I did manage to tag a third pirate before he could reach the fin though.

Frowning, I called down to Luffy "That fin's about to get crowded Captain."

Luffy laughed and said "Shishi, don't worry, I _like_ crowded."

"Of course he does." I said, rolling my eyes with a grin. A moment later though, I was distracted by the sound of large latches coming undone from the front of the ship and saw the fish head pull out, an awning popping up and a fin moving forward. As the boat with a small paddle wheel on each side turned I saw three cannons coming out of the mouth and Patty loudly laughing as he said "Behold Krieg Pirates! The Mackerel 1!"

The pair of sea cooks began shooting at the pirates that were still on the Galleon debris or in the water near said pieces of broken ship. It SEEMED like an effective strategy, and even made the pirates by the fin pause from beginning to climb up to boot, but then the pair made the most unwise decision to not only shoot at Krieg but get within arm's reach as well.

When the smoke cleared, Krieg had his left hand raised seeming to be without a scratch and he used that hand to pick up the Mackerel by the barrel of the middle cannon. Glaring at the small vessel trapped by his single hand, he shouted "I am Don Krieg! The man who will conquer the world's sea! I don't have time to play these games!" He then let out a roar of exertion as he lifted the metal boat that was easily four times taller than him up one handed before throwing it over his shoulder. Though seemingly against his wishes to take the ship intact, that sent the Mackerel straight towards the Baratie.

One of the chef's shouted "Oh no, the ship will be destroyed!"

Then Sanji was jumping up into the air and intercepted the Mackerel, kicking it hard enough to not only stop its forward progress but to even fall backwards a short distance before crashing into the fin bow first. I winced at the damage the Mackerel's landing caused to the fin before I noticed that the pirates on the edge were taking advantage of the distraction to climb aboard.

"Oh, we can't have that." I muttered to myself before I shot the pirate the furthest away from the side the Mackerel landed in the head, pumped the Battlescout twice and shot the now panicking pirate beside him in the chest. Quickly going down the line, I managed to hit five more pirates before they did the smart thing and leapt back into the water to Krieg's displeasure as he shouted "WHAT ARE YOU COWARDS DOING?! I SAID TO SWARM THEM!"

"YOU DON"T HAVE THE NUMBERS TO DO THAT ANYMORE ASSHOLE!" I shouted at him with a grin.

"YOU IMPUDENT BUG!" Krieg roared at me and I laughed even as he tried and failed to shoot me with his twelve guns. The rounds reached my position but they were inaccurate as all hell at that range and not a single one hit my small form.

It was only when a large chested but thin armed man wearing shields on his front, back, knees, elbows, and in his hands with pearls on them stood up after climbing onto the fin that I realized that Krieg had just been a distraction. The man flicked his fingers and several of the chefs including Carne and Patty dropped, taken out by the black pearl sized balls he flung out.

The man laughed and said "I am the Krieg Pirates' Iron Wall, Pearl! In my last sixty-one battles, I have won them all COMPLETELY unharmed. I have never even spilled a single drop of blood in a battle."

The moment he spoke the last word, an electric round went through his right eye and out the back of his head. As Pearl's body dropped amidst the shouts of alarm from the Krieg Pirates I said "You're dead weight is what you are." Once more pumping my Battlescout four times, I continued "As I proved earlier, armor's all fine and dandy but it's no good against pin point weapons' fire."

Krieg grit his teeth in anger so hard I swear I could hear one of them cracking from over three hundred feet away. His right eyelid twitched once but then his face smoothed over when he saw something. An instant later, I quickly leapt back avoiding the cannonball that smashed into the deck where I used to be. Grinning at Gin who had TRIED to ambush me from the side, I said "Hey there, Gin! Finally joining this fight?"

Gin stared down at me with a hard look in his eyes as he spun his right tonfa and said "It seems that I should have gone for speed rather than stealth when trying to stop you from shooting my crewmates. No matter, you won't be able to kill any more of them."

"Oh, I wouldn't count on that." I said, sheathing my Battlescout. An instant later, I leapt at the wall, kicking off and over the railing. Landing in my were-lemur form, I landed right in front of the Krieg pirates that were charging towards the cooks. Luffy was instantly by my side and we proceeded to tear through the closest pirates before we jumped apart from each other to avoid Gin's tonfas when he leapt over the railing after me and tried to brain us, his weapons smashing through the wood of the fin up to his hands.

Cackling as I knocked another Krieg Pirate into the water with a strong kick, I called to Gin who was going after Luffy "Using a blunt object like that on a Rubber Man? I thought you were smarter than that Gin!"

"The blows may not hurt him, but all I have to do is knock him into the water. The sea will do the rest." Gin said calmly even as Luffy sent his torso bending away from Gin's strikes, his spine bending in ways that more resembled a Looney Tune than a member of the Anime Big Three.

"Shishi, good luck with that!" Luffy said with a laugh. He then leapt straight up to avoid the stupidly long net that Krieg threw, it's strands clanking as they hit the wood showing that it was made out of a metal, most likely iron given the dull look of said metal a small part of my mind rationalized even as I ducked under a high mace swing from a Krieg Pirate then came up with a rising uppercut that _DEMANDED_ I call out "Shoryuken!" Said pirate lifted up off his feet for a good two feet before I brought up my legs and kicked him in a manner more appropriate to being a Kangaroo zoan rather than a lemur. The pirate was flung back and knocked over five other pirates that were trying to rush towards me. A few powerful kicks to either side of me gave me the space needed to draw my Battlescout, twist off and store the rifling attachment which was a bit of a hassle in close quarters and then just pump and fire at any pirate who got too close, forgoing accurate sure kill shots for rapid fire suppression to the center mass. It was sloppy but effective, dropping all of the melee fighters surrounding me with at least two shots per person, the last one in the immediate area with five.

While I proved that the Battlescout wasn't just a medium range weapon, Luffy took a page out of my playbook and used the shaft of Gin's striking tonfa to leap up in the air in order to strike a massive spiked ball on a chain wielded by Krieg. (And seriously, where'd he hide THAT?! It was easily twice as tall as Luffy and just as wide!) Snarling as he landed, Luffy called out "Oi, stop trying to put holes in the ship!" His stretching mule kick to Gin's torso when he tried to take advantage of Luffy's 'distraction' forced Gin to cross his arms to block and still sent him skidding back five feet.

"Then do me the curtesy of staying still and dying!" Krieg cried back as he swung his ball and chain over his head before launching it forward again.

Luffy leapt over the ball as it came at him, one hand on his hat as he said "Nah, being dead sounds boring." He then reached down with his free hand, grabbing the chain and being pulled through the air as Krieg yanked the chain back with an excited "YAHOO!"

If Krieg showed any surprise at Luffy using his own weapon to get close, he didn't keep that look for very long. Instead as Luffy got closer, he dropped the chain from his left hand and pulled out a cape filled with spikes and laughed as he said "So what if you get closer, you can't hit me!"

"WANNA BET!" Luffy shouted before he too let go of the chain and slammed a punch into Krieg's cheek, AFTER hitting the porcupine cape that was in the way, snapping Krieg's head to the side and laying him out flat.

"Ooh!" I said with a wince, several of the chefs behind me imitating my response. That HAD to hurt, especially since Luffy wasn't able to use Armament Haki to negate the piercing damage. Luckily he hadn't punched a spike straight on or he'd be missing at least a finger and have a hole going from where said finger USED to be and all the way to the wrist. As it was, blood was still pouring off of his hand and dripping onto the wooden deck under Luffy's feet.

"DON KRIEG!" Gin shouted in surprise. Surprise matched by the Krieg Pirates who were still in the water who expressed their disbelief that Krieg was beaten. The chefs meanwhile started cheering for Luffy but he and I remained ready for action, the both of us keeping our Observation Haki on Krieg even as I kept my gaze on Gin who was once again the only Krieg Pirate on the ship, or at least the only one who could fight still.

The reason why we weren't relaxing our attention from Krieg was because our Observation Haki told us that while his bell had certainly been rung he wasn't actually unconscious just yet. A few moments later, he seemed to get his senses back as he stood up and cracked his neck to one side.

"Done taking your nap?" Luffy asked with a grin.

Krieg growled at Luffy and said "You impudent bug. When I get through with you you're going to regret ever going out to sea!"

Krieg pulled the left shield off of his shoulder and slapped it on his left fist. The next moment, the rim popped open revealing several weapon barrels and a belt of ammo unrolled. Grinning, Krieg shouted out "DIE!" and there was the sound of a tommy gun going off as he shot several yellow and green striped stakes at Luffy, or rather, he tried. Warned by his Observation Haki, Luffy ran around the battlefield, ducking, spinning, and grappling among the wreckage of the Galleon. And Luffy was LAUGHING as he did so.

"SHISHISHISHISHI, OI, OI! WHY'S YOUR AIM SO BAD?!" Luffy asked, actually ducking under a stream of stakes while stopping so that when the spikes went past him he could stand up and stick his tongue out at Krieg. Naturally this pissed Krieg off even more and Luffy went right back to dodging the stakes. Eventually though, Krieg ran out of stakes and Luffy called out "Oh dear, you sure are wasteful with your ammo!" His arms stretched out and he grabbed a mast, rocketing to it and then immediately kicking off of it to land back near Krieg with a laugh as he continued "That's why I stick to my fists, can't run out of THOSE! SHISHISHI!"

Krieg growled and said "You are beginning to really make me angry bug!" Taking the right shield off his shoulder, he combined it with the left and pulled on a handle that extend out to spear length, a blade coming out of the top.

"There it is, Krieg's ultimate weapon, the Daisenso! (Great Battle Spear)" One of the Krieg Pirates in the water shouted, another followed up with "Every time it hits something it explodes! Weighing one ton, only Don Krieg can wield it!"

I frowned and called out "OI LUFFY, LET'S SWAP! YOU HAVEN'T MANAGED TO GET ARMAMENT HAKI WORKING YET RIGHT?! I CAN TAKE THOSE EXPLOSIONS A LOT BETTER THAN YOU CAN!"

"NO! STAY WHERE YOU ARE MATT! I TOLD YOU BEFORE, CAPTAINS FIGHT CAPTAINS!" Luffy shouted back with a glare before he quickly leapt to the side to avoid Krieg who TRIED to take advantage of Luffy's distraction. The wooden deck where Luffy had been standing exploded under the strike but Krieg was already moving to try and hit Luffy with furious swings of his weapon.

My attention was grabbed by Gin as he said "If you want a fight so badly, I'll give you one." The next instant, he launched himself at me with his left tonfa spinning.

I snapped off a quick shot with the Battlescout but Gin intercepted the electric round with his tonfa. And while he stiffened as the charge carried from his tonfa into his hand, he didn't stop his advance. Tsking to myself, I leapt to the side out of the way, sheathing the Battlescout as I did so. Landing, I got into a ready stance and said "You won't have any more luck fighting me then you did Luffy Gin. You and the others should withdraw, continuing to fight will only see even more of your crewmates injured or killed."

"Maybe so, but Krieg has ordered us to take this restaurant, and we shall do so." Gin said, right tonfa spinning now.

I noted with my Observation Haki how the remaining Krieg pirates were cautiously making their way closer to the fin as Gin spoke. Clearly they believed that Gin would be able to deal with me allowing them to attack the chefs. The chefs though seemed ready for them, Patty and Carne already recovered and radiating both determination and an eagerness to get involved in the fighting again. I glanced over in their direction. Seeing the question in my eyes, Sanji smirked around his cigarette and gave me a thumbs up.

Deciding to trust that the chefs could handle themselves, I allowed the approaching Krieg Pirates to go to the back of my mind and instead turned my full focus onto Gin. Decision made, I leapt forward, and as Gin brought his right tonfa up to intercept me I spun around and smacked my Haki'd tail into the approaching cannonball. Physics came into play, causing me to spin the opposite way even as Gin's tonfa continued on its path and I brought my left leg up and around to slam my foot into Gin's right cheek.

Gin was thrown to the side but he easily went with the blow, rolling back up to his feet and immediately coming back at me. His next swing, I shifted into Zaboomafoo and latched onto his right leg. Opening my mouth, my teeth turned black and I chomped down on Gin's leg causing him to yell out in pain and thrash his leg around trying to dislodge me. When my Observation Haki told me he was going to try and dislodge me with his tonfa, I let go, quickly getting out of the way and spat to the side as I said "UGH, I definitely should have thought a bit before I did that, when was the last time you had a bath?!"

Gin's eyes gleamed with twin stars of menace as he said "Alright, before this was just a job, now you've made it personal." He then gained a rictus grin and said "Do me a favor and go back into that half and half form so that way I can make you into a fur coat."

I shook my head and said in my best diva voice "Dahling, fur is SO not your thing." The next moment, I darted back forward. Gin tried to hit me with his Tonfa but I managed to side step the ball as it smashed another hole in the deck, leaping up on its shaft and scrambling up it and Gin's arm. Once at the shoulder, I shifted to Were Lemur and pinned his arms with my legs while I wrapped my right arm around his neck with my left arm wrapped around my right. Gin struggled in my sleeper hold for a few moments then went limp and fell to the ground.

Getting up, I grinned and said "Thanks Ducky." Taking Gin's headband off of him, I cut it in half with my knife and tied all four of his limbs together, making a mental note to always carry at least one roll of duck tape on me at all times from now on as I did so. Turning around to where a group of Krieg Pirates had stopped their approach to where the chefs were fighting some of their comrades, I pulled the Battlescout out of its sheath and said "Now then, who else wants some?"

I pumped the Battlescout and the pirates traded a quick glance with each other before they shot back towards the edge of the deck, diving into the ocean and staying out of sight. I snorted and said "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Firing then putting the Battlescout back onto my back, I turned back to where the Chefs were fighting and quickly leapt over to give those who looked like they were struggling a hand. Working with Sanji, Patty, and Carne, we soon had the rest of the Krieg Pirates knocked out. As Patty dusted his hands, he asked "Oi Carpenter! Why didn't you just shoot them with that gun of yours?"

"Yeah, it would have been a lot quicker." Carne said in agreement.

"Because the shortest distance the round will travel is twenty five feet. I don't think you guys want me shooting through them and into you." I said.

More than one chef swallowed at that and Carne said "Uh, good point."

With that question answered, I turned around and focused on Luffy's fight with Krieg. Luffy's arms from the elbows down weren't looking too good, covered in the anime/cartoon soot associated with being in the middle of an explosion. I frowned wondering why that was given that the REST of him looked fine. I got my answer when after another sideways swing and an explosion from Krieg's weapon the spear tip of the Daisenso shattered.

Krieg stared at the shattered metal of his weapon and asked "What did you do to it?!"

Luffy stuck out his tongue then said with a grin "I hit the pointy end five times. I guess that's all your 'greatest weapon' could take."

"Oh that moronic badass." I whispered to myself, immediately understanding why he would do that. Yeah, explosions were bad, even for Luffy who while able to deal with the concussive force still could get hurt by the heat and the shrapnel, but it was much less effective in damaging him then getting shanked or sliced up by that spear tip. Still, that didn't change the fact that I was going to have to apply burn cream to his lower arms and hands then wrap them up for a bit at the end of this.

As Zeff spoke metaphorically to Sanji about spears of determination (and saying off handedly that Sanji was holding HIS spear back for an idiotic reason) I took out the Battlescout from its sheath on my back and pulled out the rifling barrel and shoulder stock from their pockets on the duck tape sheath and reattached them to the Battlescout before re-sheathing it, more to give my hands something to do rather than in expectation of providing relatively long ranged support.

We watched as Krieg taunted Luffy from atop one of the giant masts. Luffy somehow defied gravity to run up the 85% incline with arms stretching behind him for a Gum Gum Bazooka. Krieg slammed his Daisenso into the mast as hard as he could just as Luffy reached him but Luffy burst through the smoke and slammed his Bazooka right to his chest. Krieg lost his grip on the Daisenso as he was thrown off of the mast but as he flew back he released several small spherical bombs that destroyed the mast throwing up a massive smoke cloud hiding Luffy from sight.

While several of the chefs called out "Chore Boy!" in distress, I narrowed my eyes as my Observation Haki showed me Luffy tensing his legs inside of the cloud then shooting out with a roar of determination. Krieg's shock and disbelief poured off of him like a waterfall to my Observation Haki, shock and disbelief which rapidly turned to pain as Luffy Bazooka'd him again which caused his armor to shatter.

Krieg though showed he wasn't beat yet. As he fell, his iron net made a reappearance and quickly surrounded Luffy who couldn't dodge in midair even though he saw it coming with his Observation Haki. Still, the net didn't stop him from popping out his arms and feet and Luffy stretched out his legs, twisting them around each other as they reached for Krieg, feet going around his face. Once he had Krieg's face between his feet, Luffy spun him like a propeller up over his body and into the Baratie's fin with a cry of "Gum Gum GAVEL!"

I didn't need my Observation Haki to know that Krieg was knocked out cold by the finisher move. While the remaining Krieg Pirates exclaimed their shook at Krieg's defeat, I took a moment to appreciate that fact before I snapped my gaze back up to Luffy. A quick moment of tracking his trajectory then working out where he would land, I cursed when I realized he'd hit water.

Spinning around, I shouted to the chefs "OI GUYS, LUFFY'S GOING INTO THE DRINK, AND DEVIL FRUIT USERS CAN'T SWIM!"

"SHIT!" Sanji shouted, quickly taking off his shoes and suit jacket before sprinting towards the fin's edge and taking a massive leap, splashing into the water halfway to where Luffy had fallen in. There was a tense couple of minutes before Sanji broke the surface with a gasp of air, Luffy held in his arms.

I let out a sigh of relief at the sight though I didn't relax just yet. After all, there were still Krieg Pirates in the water. Thankfully though, they either were still in shock or had lost the will to fight when Krieg finally lost so Sanji was unhassled as he came back aboard with Luffy. Once the pair were aboard, I was next to them and finding Luffy unresponsive took advantage of his rubber body to slam a fist down on his diaphragm. Luffy shot up into a sitting position, coughing out the water in his lungs and I said chipperly "Oh good, I don't need to do mouth to mouth. That'd have been embarrassing."

Sanji cringed at that mental image and I felt a surge of amusement at the look on his face but I soon focused on the important things, namely getting Luffy up to his feet as I said "Come on Captain, let's get you inside so that I can look at those arms."

"Kay." Luffy said and I walked him into the Baratie. Let the chefs deal with the remaining Krieg Pirates, I had a Captain to patch up. Though as we passed through the entry way I did have to wonder, how the _hell_ had Luffy managed to keep his straw hat on all this time?

END

Author's Notes: Two down, one to go. You know, in Pirate King's Tailor, I always pictured the SI stopping the MH5 bomb from going off by wrapping it in about six feet of duck tape but since Gin never fought Sanji that didn't happen. The same thing happened here since Gin went after this Version's SI to stop his medium range sniping. I think that High Winds Matt is going to have to go after the mooks that aren't on the fin to let that fight finally happen because I REALLY want to no sell that weapon...


End file.
